Of Unsound Mind Erik&Charles
by DeathTrapDaisy
Summary: As Sabastian Shaw's soul leaks from his body, Charles collapses to the ground, all thoughts colliding together in his mind, he had never been so out of control, his mind was broken, he was broken.  'Oh Erik, what have you done'
1. Chapter 1

Title: Of Unsound Mind (1/?)  
>Pairing: ErikCharles  
>Rating: NC-17<br>Summary: What if Charles had not been as strong in mind as everyone had hoped, Shaws death killing Charles mental strength, meaning Charles can no longer control his telepathy and is afraid of what he could do to harm those whom he loves most.

He could feel it, that horrifying cold metal pressed to his pale forehead  
><em>its not real, its not me, its not real, its not me<em>  
>He chanted to himself he had to keep his wits about him, seeing Erik looking so coldy through the eyesof their target, Charles hadnt felt anything like it before, he had never felt something so horrible in his life, it was as if he could feel The mans very soul leaving his body, and what was worse, Charles could hear the unspoken words of the mans agony, moments before the cold metal had pressed to his forehead horrible desperate please were heard, only to Charles' knowledge which led him nearly to the point if giving up, letting this monster live.<br>Although Erik had been the one to cast the final blow, Charles had been the one to ignore his cries for mercy, Charles had been the one to hear his prayers unanswered as his last few moments filled with Emma Frost his love, and Erik this man he had risen from childhood come back to kill him, his creater.  
>Charles couldntbelieve the agony of the man as his soul slipped through into ablivion, Charles having no other choice than to bare it himself and feel his brain die inside himself.<br>Charles hadnt realized how loudly he must have been screaming until he collapsed on the ground, Shaw was dead.  
>Charles gripping his head in his hands as his head was filled with thoughts screaming, pondering, talking, laughing, it all came in at once, he had never been so out of control he couldnt block them out as his own thoughts were drowned in this noise of war, Charles knew what had happened, his mind was broke, he was broken.<p>

_Oh Erik, what have you done._

A/N: Its short yes but i just wanted you to get a taste of it, so you know this is going to be pretty angsty i havent written any angst in a while, i know theres a couple stories out there like this but i couldnt help myself. hope you liked it somewhat :) next part will be soon! This will be a Erik/Charles fic! That's all I write just wait til the next part!  
>R&amp;R<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Of Unsound Mind (2/?)  
>Pairing: ErikCharles  
>Rating: NC-17<br>Summary: What if Charles had not been as strong in mind as everyone had hoped, Shaws death killing Charles mental strength, meaning Charles can no longer control his telepathy and is afraid of what he could do to harm those whom he loves most.

A/N: here's part 2, not much to be said about this but whatever. Hope you like it.

It wasn't long after Erik had emerged from his place of victory that which sat crashed on the shore, that place where he had killed Shaw, and not yet to his knowledge perhaps his best friend, Erik looked over the mesmerized crowed floating Shaw's body out on display, it wasn't long until he noticed Charles was not among the crowed of dismay.

Suddenly the consideration hit him, he let Shaws body drop lifeless on the sand as he searched out the crowed, Moira was also missing, Erik paused for a moment before making his way towards the crashed plain they had come in on, Raven and the others following him with their eyes suspiciously, he had done the very thing Charles asked him not too.

Erik entered the plane and gasped at what he found, his friend being held in Moira's arms as he kept a vice like grip on his head in agony, muttering words none could understand, eyes squeezed shut, upon closer investigation Erik noticed the streams of blood dripping from the mans ears and nose, Erik immediately collapsed on his knees stealing Charles from Moira tugging him into his chest, Charles shuddered in pain soon Moira screamed out grabbing her head clutching at her skull, Charles was projecting his pain, Erik couldn't feel it due to his helmet, Moira collapsing on the metal ground squealing in pain.

Charles began sobbing, he knew what he was doing, could hear her thoughts as clear as her screams she would die if this didn't stop soon and Charles knew it.

He would never hurt anyone intentionally, and another death connected to his brain would be unbearable, this could cause his own death.

Erik clutched him in his arms panic setting in, Charles was broken and he had been the one to break him.

Tears stung his eyes as he looked upon Charles whom was biting his lips trying not to scream out, Erik could tell his main focus was trying to stop this projection the one that could potentially kill Moira and anyone else within a 2 mile radius.

Erik had to do something and quick, but what?

Charles, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

Were Erik's thoughts he was so buried in his hate for Shaw that he had let the one person whom had cared for him be hurt, and maybe worse, be ruined.

Erik thinking quickly grabbed the helmet on his head and tugged it off, only then did he feel that which Moira and Charles were both feeling, he slammed his eyes shut and grit his teeth before gaining enough strength to do what he had too, It was all he could do to manage placing the helmet on the shuddering telepaths head.

The projections stopped immediately, Charles thrust into silence, only hearing his breathing within this tin can now place upon his dark curls.

Moira heaved breaths as she regained her composure shuddering with each intake of air, her nose had also began to drip with blood, but just barely, Erik held onto his telepath and rocked him in his arms, Charles breathing slowed until it became shallow, perhaps too shallow, Erik shook him just slightly.

"Charles, stay with me Charles." Erik begged, Charles eyes fluttered open one last time.

"I'm sorry." Charles breathed before passing out, his head falling limp to one side, Erik's breath caught in his chest, what had happened to him? Erik prayed that this man could be saved, if not by him, by some kind of miracle.

Charles lay unconscious on his bed, the helmet still placed upon his head, they all hoped perhaps it would give his reaching mind a break allowing the telepath to sleep peacefully, so far it seemed to do the trick.

Erik's heart was heavy with remorse and after the story had spread throughout the rest of the team like wildfire Erik was treated like the cold hearted bastard he was, no one giving him even a moment to apologize, it wasn't them that he owed an apology anyways, it was Charles.

Erik had been sitting with his head in his hands next to Charles' bed for a few hours now, it was well into the night at this point but Erik would not pull himself away.

Raven had been there for most of the night but had left Erik to take over the rest of the watch.

Quietly a door opened into the room, Erik's weary eyes glanced over his shoulder at Hank whom had come to check on the wounded telepath.

"What are his chances Hank?" he asked, his voice weaker than he had meant it, Hank had noticed.

"Its hard to tell, he could heal like any other wound, but matters of the mind are complex, if time doesn't heal him, Charles will have to find his own way." He replied quietly as he placed a tray of food next to the bed then pulling the covers further over him to his chin, Erik's sniffed back tears, he had no intention on crying in front of the boy.

Hank then sighed heavy leaving the room, the door closing behind him.

Erik placed his hand on Charles' that splayed out on the bed, the telepath taking deep but strained breaths, his brows furrowed it looked as if his headache perhaps hadn't stopped only now was masked from everyone else around him.

"What have I done?"

Erik slowly lifted his head blurry eyes he had fallen asleep on the arm chair next to the bed, blinking a few times he jerked back at what he saw, Charles crouched on the bed, knees bent as he knelt in front of Erik watching him sleep Charles head cocked to one side, his eyes looked differently, dark, masked, cold.

Erik noticed this and pulled back looking over the telepath questioningly.

Charles still had the helmet set atop his head as he stared blankly at the man in front of him.

"Charles, are you alright?" he dared to ask, Charles inched closer silently glaring, Erik gulped something was wrong, very wrong, Charles was almost animalistic.

Erik stood very slowly, the chair pushing back wards as his legs straightened, Erik maneuvered from in front of the chair putting some space between them, Charles stepped down from the bed, still crouching using a hand to stable himself on the floor as he crawled closing the distance between them, Erik's heart began to race, Charles was acting like an animal some kind of beast, reaching out he grasped one of Erik's ankles his cold malice turning to an adoring pleading glance, the deep blue danced across his eyes a glimpse of the Charles yesterday had left behind.

"Help me." He whispered, Erik's heart was in his throat, he dropped to his knees cupping the mans face I his hands.

"I will do all I can to help you." He promised, tears welling up in the ill mans eyes as they washed his cheeks bending down to rest on Erik's chest, Erik pulling him into his arms, as his body shuddered with tears and sobbing.

Charles clutched at his shirt, pulling him close Erik held him tighter until his sobbing could decrease, Charles pulled back.

"Charles?" Erik whispered as the creature retreated crawling back to the bed, leaning up on his knees clutching at the fabric once he reached it.

"Charles? Charles please say something." Erik begged as he sat on the floor starring at the figures pale back rising and falling with breaths.

"I will count to 3." He murmured, Erik's brows furrowed as he listened.

"What?" he asked quietly, he had heard him but he was simply confused at why he had said it.

"And I will move the coin." He continued, shoulders shuddering with grief, Erik's shoulders tensed as he pulled himself up to his feet.

"Charles?"

"1." He heard muttered, Charles' kneeling form straightened up. "2." He added dark eyes turning to glare up at Erik, Erik's fist clutched at his sides, Charles hand gripping the fabric of the bed until his knuckles turned white. "3." He said quietly, the malice of his words darkened by dark eyes and an unwavering glare that sent a shiver down Erik's spine.

A heavy silence drifted through the cold air for several minutes until Charles burst out in the deepest most maniacal laugh Erik had ever heard emerge from his companion, Erik taking a step back, breathing heavy.

Charles covered his face in his hands laughing into them, Erik wondered what would cause his random mood changes and why this sentence was the one chosen, was it to jab at Erik for the loss of his mother by these words, or in all this darkness had Charles turned to blaming Erik for his illness, his mental illness, that couldn't be it, Charles would never do that, something was wrong with him, very wrong with him, Charles leaned against the bed and continued in his laughing fit, all Erik could think to do is manage pushing himself out of the room, locking the door from outside, locking Charles inside, he wasn't right in the head and he couldn't be set loose in the mansion, not like this, he could be deadly.

Erik took the next few moments to pull himself back together but only managed to push himself to crying into his palms, he had ruined everything perhaps forever.

Hank entered the room cautiously trying not to wake the sleeping telepath, the door creaked open to reveal an empty bed, Hank gulped, Erik had explained his earlier encounter and Hank was nervous as hell.

"Professor?" he called out calmly, surprising him would be the worst thing he could do.

Hank entered the room and closed the door without a backwards glance, clearing his throat.

"Professor?" he asked again.

"Ahha!" he heard from behind him, as hands clapped him on his shoulders, Hank literally jumped out of his skin with a yelp dropping the Professors food on the floor.

"I got you didn't I?" Charles exclaimed then skipped around in front laughing, a cheeky grin forming in his face, wearing nothing but his boxers and the helmet placed on his head, he must've stripped out of his pajamas sometime since Erik had visited him.

"Professor, you scared me, you should be resting." Hank replied leaning down to pick up the tray of food.

"Henry?" he asked with a cheerful gleam in his voice.

"Yes Professor?" he asked as he picked up the tray momentarily leaving some food on the floor.

Charles plopping down in the armchair Erik had recently been sitting in.

"Why did you lock me in?" he asked, a gleam in his eyes, Hank cleared his throat.

"Well, Erik thought it would be best that you stay in here for a while." He replied placing the tray on a nearby table then proceeded to fluff the pillows.

"Erik thought it would be best…" the telepath mocked, biting his bottom lip in thought. "Well, Erik doesn't know what's best, especially not for me." He replied, cheekily Hank glancing over his shoulder at him, Charles had an unfamiliar gleam in his eye, a dark one hidden behind a grin.

"Professor, I think you should get back in bed, get some rest." He replied ignoring the earlier comment.

"I'm so tired of resting." He replied playfully, leaning back in his seat grinning up at Hank.

"You need it." He replied. "Get back in bed, and let me get you another plate of food." He replied a little more sternly this time, Charles sighed before standing up and plopping onto the bed his arms resting behind his head.

"Fine." He replied, Hank gulped before leaving the room, Charles staring a hole in him.

Hank returned not more than a few moments later, he gasped upon sight of the mislead telepath, he was crouching on the floor eating that which Hank had spilled, Hank stood staring for a moment as the seemingly clueless telepath knelt and ate.

"Professor." Hank addressed, Charles whipping his head around to look at him, before retreating in a fearful crawl.

"I'm not here to hurt you." He said calmly the knots in his stomach inescapable, Charles simply stared up at him in silence crawling backwards until his back hit the wall.

"I came to bring you breakfast, if your hungry." He continued and slowly lowered the tray to the floor in front of him. Charles starred back at him blankly before scooting on the floor in his direction watching him closely as he slid the tray towards himself and back into his safe corner, Hank's eyes filled with unshed tears as he watched what Charles had been turned into, a multi personality creature with nothing to offer, only pain and suffering.

He had to get out of that room and fast, turning and bolting out locking the door then leaning against it to gather himself before leaving.

Erik entered the room soon after Hank had told him what happened, Erik closed the door quietly sure not to startled Charles, Erik approached him slowly, the slim man laying on the bed on his side, his back facing Erik, his shoulder shuddered with sobs and silent cries, Erik's heart sank in his chest.

"Charles?" he asked sweetly, Charles seemed to respond to his name this time turning over, the helmet twisted on his head as he lay, Erik grimaced at the red skin on Charles' cheeks where the helmet had been rubbing his tender flesh the past 48 hours.

He'd have to find a remedy for that perhaps a thought proof room Charles could be kept in until he was back to himself.

"Erik." Charles replied weakly adjusting the helmet on his head, Erik reaching over to pull the covers over his pale skin that felt cold, Charles reached out and clutched Erik's turtleneck in his hands pulling him close desperately sitting up to bring their faces close.

"Listen closely Erik, you cannot let me out, you cannot take this helmet off my head ever, you don't know what I could do, I could hurt you, hurt Raven, please Erik." Charles begged and began sobbing, this was the most Charles had been in his right mind since 2 days ago.

"Charles, me and Hank are doing our best to help you, we will nurse you back to health, you will be okay." Erik replied wrapping the weeping man in his arms.

"I don't know if that's true, I have so many different thoughts in my head, Erik, its like every thought I have ever read is coming to life, my walls are coming down, Erik I'm breaking, you cant let me hurt anyone!" he replied, digging almost painfully into Eriks back as he pulled him closer Erik pulled him tightly laying a kiss on the top of his head, though covered with metal.

"Charles, I wont let you hurt anyone." He swore holding the telepath close.

"Erik, I-I'm slipping again, you need to leave, now Erik, leave now please." Charles begged pushing Erik away towards the door with surprising strength.

"Charles, I cant go, I wont leave you like this, I cant leave you alone." He replied grabbing him by the biceps holding him firm.

"Don't let me hurt you." Charles replied desperately pushing and pushing away.

"Charles, I'm not leaving you." He replied equally demanding.

"Erik please." Charles replied weakly dropping his head down to land on Erik's chest. "I cant protect you, I cant stop it." He added, Erik only grabbed him by the biceps for support.

"I'll be okay." He replied assuring his friend.

He couldn't leave Charles to his own devices he could harm himself, could take the helmet off next time he has an episode and hurt someone, someone needed to stay with him at all times, and that someone was Erik. From now on.

Charles' breaths turned light, calm, Erik sighed in relief it would seem Charles was calming down, he hoped the telepath felt safe and protected.

Erik felt warm hands travel from his hips to his mid back delicately feeling the warm fabric of his turtleneck, before pushing underneath the fabric to feel the soft skin of his back, Erik took a sharp breath, Charles' lips ventured up to taste his jaw with a kiss, the hands traveling to Erik's firm stomach pushing up his shirt to feel his body.

"Charles." Erik addressed to no reply, a flirtatious giggle left the telepaths throat before he pulled back and looked up at him his bottom lip clenched between his teeth.

"What are you doing?" Erik added nervously, Charles eyes traveled from the top of his head and down his body, Erik's stomach filled with butterflies, Charles taking a step backwards towards the bed tugging Erik along by his black turtleneck shirt.

"Shh." Charles cooed seductively putting a finger over his lips. Erik cleared his throat.

"Come be with me, I know you want to." He replied a soft sounding voice, almost more feminine than Erik remembered, his tongue sneaking out to lick his pink lips.

"Charles I…" Erik hesitated, he hadn't really thought about that but somehow the idea didn't disturb him, Charles being in the state he was in yes, but not the thought of being with Charles in a sexual way, he had always found the telepaths blue eyes alluring and that sweet voice endearing, and those lips…. Erik reminded himself that Charles is not well, he wasn't thinking clearly.

Erik cleared his throat pulling back and away, Charles' flirtatious grin faded into a frown.

"Its 'cause of her isn't it?" Charles asked darkly, Erik noticed immediately the change in Charles' voice, pronunciation and even his mannerisms, this character he was playing was definitely not the mutant he had come to know so dearly.

"Listen to me, you are not in your right mind, calm down, just lie down and rest." Erik pressured as he gently pushed the man towards his bed with a hand on his bicep, Charles seemed to comply until he lost his temper flinging Erik off.

"Fuck you!" he screamed and pushed him back with both hands, Erik stumbling backwards to fall on his back.

"I hate you! I hate you! Look what you've done to me! Look what you've done!" he proceeded to scream before falling to the floor clutching the helmet in his hands sobbing into the carpet.

Erik's eyes streamed tears down his cheeks, he hated himself for what he had done, hated himself for being so blind, so ignorant.

"Charles, I'm so sorry." Erik pleaded covering his face in his hands, Charles remained on the floor the next few moments sobbing as did Erik sitting on his knees his miserable face in his hands.

A long while had passed before Erik felt a warm hand on his shoulder, Eriks head shot up to look at the telepath kneeling in front of him.

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean to scream at you." He cooed, Erik's brows furrowed in confusion. "I know you don't mean to hit me, please forgive me, don't hurt Charles, my boy." He pleaded in a quiet tone, his thumb rubbing circles on Erik's shoulder, Erik cocked his head to one side, Charles pleading eyes looking into his soul, Charles' other hand going to stroke a necklace that wasn't there nervously.

Erik had finally figured it out, this must have been Charles' mother, a part of her that lived inside him, this wasn't Charles, his telepath, his friend, Erik cupped his face in his hands.

"I wont hurt Charles, I will never hurt Charles, I promise, may I see him?" he replied calmly, Charles smiled at him before turning to sit next to him on the floor dropping his head to rest on his shoulder.

"My friend…" was his reply, and Erik knew it was him, Erik let out a deep breath he had been holding in relief, Charles began to cry quietly his hand moving to cover his eyes, Erik reached his arm around him and pulled him close.

"I'm so sorry, Erik." Charles muttered, this made Erik's heart throb in agony. "I don't hate you, my friend." He added weakly.

Erik pulling him in tighter.

"I know." He replied, then hooked his arm underneath Charles' bent knees and wrapped the other around his shoulders picking him up to set him gently on the plush bed, Erik running his fingertips over his red lips, Charles shivered at that his hand clutching Erik's wrist.

"Will you stay, please." Charles begged evident fear of being left alone in his eyes. "I don't mean to be trouble but, you're my best friend." He added, Erik frowned and took in a deep breath.

"I will stay forever if that's what you want." He replied pulling the covers over him.

"I need you Erik." He admitted, Erik smiled down at him tucking him into the thick comforter.

"I'll be here." He promised walking around to the other side of the bed and tugging his shoes off then curled up beside Charles under the blankets, pulling the thin man into his arms holding him firm. "I will find a way to fix this." he assured resting his head beside Charles'

"I know you will." He replied but couldn't stop the sting of tears that threatened to fall, Charles knew it would take much more than someone helping him to get better, there were time Charles didn't know who he was, didn't know what voice to listen too or which personality to believe, he was utterly unabashedly broken.

So here it is, I creeped myself out a little with the crawling animal thing but hey there it is, hope I didn't lose the readers I have so far :/


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Of Unsound Mind (3/?)****  
><strong>**Pairing: Erik/Charles****  
><strong>**Rating: NC-17****  
><strong>**Summary: What if Charles had not been as strong in mind as everyone had hoped, Shaws death killing Charles mental strength, meaning Charles can no longer control his telepathy and is afraid of what he could do to harm those whom he loves most.**

**Chapter Summary: Erik tries his best to help Charles control his outbursts and confirm his thoughts to be thought or reality.**

**A/N: And now let the feelings Charles has for Erik EXPLODE lol I really enjoyed this next part hope y'all do too!**

xXx

Erik hadn't gotten much sleep with the nervous feeling in his stomach Charles could break at any moment, this was not a restful time, Erik had fallen into a deep sleep as the sun began to rise, his eyes opened slowly, then blinked a few times.

Charles pacing the room.

"I'm Charles, Charles Francis Xavier, I am Charles Francis Xavier, a telepath, a Professor, I am Charles Francis Xavier, I am professor Xavier."

Charles was muttering to himself as he paced back and forth, Erik stared for a few moments.

"Erik is my friend, Raven is my sister, my name is Charles, I am Charles, Charles Xavier. Charles Xavier, _Charles Xavier…"_ Charles glanced up and saw Erik was awake, his eyes heavy lidded tiredly with red around the rims and black underneath, Charles looked exhausted but stopped pacing as Erik simply watched him.

"Charles." Erik muttered

"Erik." Charles echoed, Erik sat up.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, Charles took in a shaky breath.

"Questionable." He finally answered then began to pace again. Wringing his hands, he was doing his best not to crawl, or flirt, or scream or lose his mind, he was working at it now, he was doing what Hank had said he needed too, find his own way, Erik knew he was on his way to recovery but knew the journey had only begun.

"_I am Charles Xavier, Charles Xavier, Charles Xavier, Charles, Charles."_

He continued on this way for several minutes, running his hands over his face and under the helmet, how he wanted to take it off, how he wanted to be free.

"I am Erik's friend, I am Erik's companion, I am Erik's best friend, Erik is my best friend, I am Erik's friend, I am Erik's… _I am Erik's_."

Charles muttered exhausted. Erik rose his brows at the last statement of his chanting.

"Erik, what am I? What am I to you?" he asked, Erik took in a deep breath, studying the eyes that stared back at him desperately.

"Charles, you're my friend, my best friend." He replied, Charles shoulders slumped before he crawled onto the bed to sit Indian style in front of him.

"Erik, may I ask you? I'm confused and I need your help." Charles replied sheepishly looking down, twiddling his thumbs.

"You may ask me anything." He replied mocking his seated position to listen intently.

"Well, it would seem I'm having difficulty remembering what are my thoughts and what is reality." He admitted.

"Ask me." Erik urged a supportive hand on Charles' knee.

"Erik, are we… how should I put this…" he hesitated glancing up beneath his helmet.

"Erik have we ever… ah… you know?" he finally asked, Erik took in a deep breath letting it out.

"No." he replied shaking his head slowly, Charles hesitated a moment his head dropping to land in his hands.

"I'm sorry my friend, I obviously cant decipher reality from thought." He replied his voice muffled in his hands. Erik's heart sank.

"Its alright, don't be embarrassed." He said sweetly squeezing his knee gently in his fingers, he knew by what Charles had said that he must've imagined some kind of sexual encounter between the 2, and now looked very discontented about it.

"The memory seemed so real, I don't know how I will ever tell the difference." He muttered in defeat, as if the past hour of chanting and pacing and probing his own mind hadn't solved anything.

"Charles, I think I know how to help you."

xXx

First Erik took Charles out of his room their arms locked attempting to give him as much comfort as possible, Erik had managed to get him into a button up and some loose trousers, and loafers, Charles looked up and around himself his smiled broadening as he looked over the massive hallways, gold chandeliers and red carpet.

"The house is real." He declared appreciatively, Erik smiled.

"I thought it had been a dream." He added, Erik pulling him into the study showing him his desk, Charles sat down on the wooden chair next to it, feeling the familiar arm rests with his fingers.

"This is my study I dreamed of." He said with a big smile, he was like a child that had learned to walk for the first time.

Erik smiled glad to see him so happy, turning to the book shelf to pull out a photo album, then pulled a chair over next to him to sit with him.

"This might help you remember." Erik offered as he set the leather bound book in front of him, Charles hesitated a moment before flipping the cover open.

"This is my mother, and my father." He said with a twinkle in his eyes, turning the page to see himself and Raven sitting at the table together. "Raven… where is Raven?" Charles asked panic setting in, turning to Erik, Erik set a hand over his and squeezed.

"She is okay, she's here waiting to see you at dinner." Erik assured him, and smiled, Charles sighed with relief assuming the worst had happened to her at the beach.

"The beach." Charles said suddenly remembered what had happened. "Erik, you killed Shaw, on the beach." He said almost surprised, Erik's stomach turned in his belly, Charles pleading eyes staring up at him as if he had forgotten the 3 days until now.

"Cuba." Erik replied, Charles' brows furrowed in thought it was all a blur, the last coherent thought Charles had was Moira screaming and gripping her head, being wrapped in Erik's arms then the helmet being placed on his head.

Charles' hand reached up to grab the rim of the helmet with his pale fingers.

"You saved my life." Charles whispered turning to look up at Erik whom was currently staring down concerned.

"If it weren't for me, I wouldn't have had too. I'm so sorry Charles, I would do anything to take it all back." Erik replied bitterly eyes turning down to look at the floor.

"Erik, you cannot blame yourself for this, you couldn't have known, you had this helmet on, you couldn't have known what it would do to me." He assured him gripping his strong chin in his fingers turning him to look up into his eyes.

"You tried to stop me, and I wouldn't listen." He replied regretfully.

He smiled softly. "Please do not blame yourself, I couldn't live with it."

Erik nodded slowly, but no matter what Charles said he would always blame himself, blame his selfishness for what happened.

Charles attention turned back to look at the album on the desk.

"May I keep this?" he asked flipping another page, Erik frowned at the statement.

"Its yours, you may do whatever you want with it."

"What else Is mine?" he asked excited, Erik bit back a sigh.

"Everything, this is your house, and everything in it is yours." Erik replied closing the album and setting it in the telepaths open hand.

"Oh, I thought it was ours." He replied, Erik's heart fluttered, Charles' selflessness was so ingrained in him he had forgotten the mansion was his.

"It is ours Charles, you are right." Erik replied putting an arm over his shoulder hugging him.

Charles smiled brightly up at him.

"Now dinner?" Erik asked, Charles nodded enthusiastically his helmet cutely sliding over his eyes, Charles giggled before tipping it back with the tip of his finger, his cheeks blushing pink once his blue adorable eyes snuck out to look up at Erik.

Erik couldn't help but smile.

"Come on." He said kindly standing from his chair, Charles soon followed him carrying the photo album close to his chest, Erik glancing back at him in the hallway as Charles studied everything he walked passed.

xXx

Once they entered the dining room everyone was already seated at the table, looking up at Charles somewhat surprised to see him but overall relieved, Charles smiled broadly upon sight of Raven whom now stayed in her natural blue form whenever in the mansion, Raven immediately ran to him hugging him so tightly he almost couldn't breath, pulling back to hold the helmet in her hands kissing him a hundred times on his face Charles smiled and laughed.

"You had me worried sick, Charles." She declared kissing him again, Charles smiled at her.

"I'm sorry." He replied she giggled hugging him again.

xXx

"You wont be able to go to your own room tonight." Erik said as gently as he could, Charles turned to him with a question on his face. "Hank and I have been working on a solution to this." he said and gestured to Charles' head, Charles glanced up looking at the helmet he was wearing.

"What do you mean?"

"We have created a telepathy proof room for you to stay in, at least until you can control it again." He replied, Charles looked down but nodded grimly.

Erik had taken him to his new quarters, it looked like any other room with a connected bathroom only difference was the color of the walls, the metal and mirrors that worked to block his thoughts in.

Charles glanced around the room curiously before smiling up at Erik, Hank and Alex had begun to move Charles' things into his new room Erik turning to help, Charles just sat on the bed blankly staring at the photo album in his lap, his only grip on reality.

After a few minutes getting Charles' favorite outfits stuffed into his new wardrobe Erik glanced back at Charles whom had his helmeted head drooping down maybe a little too low, Charles took in a deep breath letting it out, his pale hand coming up to rub his tired neck.

Hank and Alex left the room done with moving the Professor into his temporary residence, Erik turned to stand in front Charles.

"Charles." kneeling down in front of him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm quite tired." He replied weakly, Erik lifting his chin with his fingertips, Charles' blue eyes opened to look at him.

"You can take that off now." Erik replied now that the door had been closed and sealed, Charles hesitated.

"What about you?" he asked, Erik shrugged.

"I'm sure I can handle anything you throw at me, besides, I could borrow that dashing head piece of yours." He replied and smiled, Charles returned the smile slowly lifting his hands to his helmet and lifted it off his head with a sigh of relief, Erik closed his eyes tightly as the projections hit him. This time not the pain Charles was feeling but all the voices in his head, all the confusion, thoughts, memories and fantasies, things that existed and things imagined, Charles' head was scrambled beyond belief, Erik almost felt dizzy with it, taking in a shaky breath before opening his eyes.

"I'm sorry." _I'm sorry _everything he said was echoed in thought as well.

"Its okay." Erik replied forcing his eyes open with the talking and whispering and chanting, memories of tormented souls, things Charles had heard growing up, the sick thoughts if strangers and horrifying images he had picked up, somewhere in there Erik thought he could hear is name being whispered in a rhythm of breaths, Charles' earlier chants heard whispering beneath all of the noise _I am Charles, Charles Xavier, Erik is my best friend, I am Charles Xavier, I am a Professor, I am Erik's friend, I am Erik's…Erik's_, all being pushed beyond Erik's mental boundaries, Charles held the helmet up to him.

_Put it on, I don't want you to hear this _Charles projected among all the other voices that accompanied it.

Erik gingerly took it and placed it on his head, glancing up to see Charles' dark matted hair, his skin pink and irritated, Charles hadn't been able to take it off until then and enjoyed the weightless feeling.

Erik reached up to brush through his hair damp with sweat then rubbed a thumb over his pink cheek, which was warm to the touch, too warm, Charles smiled and turned into the embrace.

"I'll run you a bath if you want?" Erik asked, Charles smiled and nodded.

"Please." He replied Erik stood now wearing the helmet and strode into the next room starting the bath water, then poured some soap in it, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows he reached in and swirled the water around, to his surprise he felt warm hands on his shoulders, Erik tensed for a moment but relaxed when he began to massage his shoulders gently.

"Thank you Erik, for everything, I don't know what I would do without you." He whispered sweetly, Erik took a deep breath and let it out.

"Of course." He replied and stood turning into the telepath whom was now looking up at him, his hair sticking in random directions.

"I know I already asked you this but." He hesitated and blushed. "Are you sure we have never…I feel like we have." He added, Erik smirked at him and rubbed up his arms comfortingly.

"I'm sure." He replied Charles sighed and dropped his head, Erik understood more now than ever how confusing it all was, he had a glimpse inside the telepaths head when they switched the helmet, all things considered Charles was handling all of this amazingly well.

Erik moved his hands to Charles blue button up and began to unbutton his shirt gently, Charles took in a sharp breath to the feeling of Erik's long fingers barely grazing his chest.

Charles blushed and avoided eye contact with the taller man, once Erik met the bottom button he undid it and pulled his shirt from his trousers and pushed it off his shoulders carefully, revealing his milky skin sprinkled with freckles and soft body, a thin trail of curly hair from his naval down beneath his trousers, Erik had seen Charles naked before, in showers or changing in hotel rooms but he had never had the chance to really look, Erik stopped himself from allowing his fingertips to brush over the pale skin,

Charles is ill, he is not well, you cannot take advantage, you're here to help him, but…. he's so beautiful

Erik smiled softly at him laying a gentle kiss on the top of his head, friends did that right?

Charles smiled softly before turning to look up at him, Erik hesitated a moment before taking Charles' belt in his able fingers, Erik cleared his throat.

"Do you want me to help with these?" he asked softly, Charles hesitated a moment and dropped his head to look at his belt as if he was considering the consequences, he bit back a moan and nodded silently.

Erik felt relieved and nervous at the same time, obviously Charles had some kind of feelings for the metal bender with his constant questioning of their relationship status, they weren't more than friends, not technically but Erik had certainly never been this close to any of his friends before.

Erik unbuckled his belt gently careful not to touch him too much, his stomach turned nervously, he wanted to touch him, Erik could finally admit it.

Unzipping his trouser with a wave of a hand then tugging Charles' trousers down softly allowing the telepath to step out of them, leaving his boxers on, then pulling his loafers and socks off.

Charles couldn't help but smile looking down at Erik.

"Erik." He said Erik startled to his voice breaking the silence in the room. "I'm sorry but that helmet is absolutely atrocious." He continued and giggled, Erik turned to stand and couldn't help but laugh along with his friend turning to look into the mirror.

"I don't know, I think I look quite dignified." Erik joked, Charles giggled covering his red lips with a hand.

Erik then proceeded to turn the faucet off checking the warmth of the water with his hand.

"Well, I'll leave you to it then." He offered with a smile, Charles nodded then turned to the tub, putting his thumbs in his boxers tugging them off before Erik had a chance to leave into the bedroom, Erik getting an eyeful of Charles' rear end, Erik quickly made his retreat and hoped Charles hadn't noticed him gawking.

Erik had some of his things moved into the room as well, a black t shirt and grey sweat pants to sleep in and another few outfits for the rest of the time, he wasn't going to leave Charles alone, there was only one bed, Erik mused, perhaps that was something he should've considered maybe he had but didn't care.

Erik took the opportunity to change while Charles was in the bath, Erik left the door cracked just barely so he could hear if he needed help with something, Erik took a seat in the armchair next to the bed taking in a deep breath, and slouching somewhat glad to have a minute of peace. Erik glanced at the chess game set on a small table between two chairs he hoped maybe Charles would be well enough soon to have a go at it, Pushing a hand underneath the helmet to scratch his itching scalp how could Charles stand to wear this for 3 days?

Erik sighed at the thought nearly dozing off as he waited for the telepath in the other room, Charles entered wearing a white bath robe over his striped pajamas, he smiled broadly at Erik whom sat up straight in his seat upon sight of him, his curly hair still damp from the bath and his pale skin looking back to normal not so irritated, Erik smiled and stood.

"Are you ready for bed?" he asked Charles nodded then didn't waste anytime jumping into bed and pulling the thick blankets over himself, pushing his cheek into the plump pillows, a moan of satisfaction leaving his lips, he hadn't gotten much sleep the last few nights.

Erik in turn picked up the comforter and crawled into bed leaving a fair distance between them letting out a sigh.

"Once I fall asleep you could probably take that off." Charles whispered concerned for Erik's comfort, Erik smiled.

"Alright." He answered Charles pushed further into the pillows before scooting closer to Erik, Erik's breath caught in his throat when he snuggled against him resting his forehead on his shoulder, one arm draping over his stomach, Erik finally let his breath out and gripped Charles arm in his hand assuring him with a squeeze, Charles sighed in contentment before going out like a light.

Erik sighed and moved to take the helmet off trying not to wake the telepath draped across his body, before falling asleep himself.

Its late, the fireplace crackling in the study, a warm orange tent filling the space of the room, Charles is seated on a sofa reading a book, he thinks he is alone

Behind him Erik approaches him and smiles as he looks over the telepath in front of him.

"Its quite late Charles." Erik muses leaning down to brush a hand through his hair from behind.

"mmm.. it is, isn't it?" Charles replies content with the attention Erik is now giving to his dark curls as he nudges his nose in them.

Erik takes in his scent before leaning down to kiss behind his ear then neck, Charles hand sneaking up to grab his neck from his seated position on the couch.

"And what exactly are you thinking being up so late?" Erik teases between kisses. "It isn't safe, there's prowlers abroad you know." He added as he takes a few steps to stand in front of Charles, Charles cocks his head to the side.

"hmm.. do any of these prowlers have a magnetic personality?" he replied playfully, Erik rolls his eyes to the sentence, before plopping down next to him.

"No. but there's one I know of that has a specific fetish for Adorable British Professors." He replied leaning in to nip at his ear, Charles gasps.

Lowering the book to his lap to turn into Erik, Erik grabbing him on the back of the neck covering his lips with his own. Charles back arches to the firm hand Erik has placed there, Charles returns the kiss enthusiastically hands eagerly pushing underneath Erik's turtleneck, Erik in turn began to tear at Charles' cloths, Charles pulls back, eyes wide and dark, and smiles a toothy grin, Erik hesitates a moment looking over him noticing his appearance, Charles remains silent and stares at him, Erik clearing his throat, as Charles presses closer to him Erik forced on his back in which he does willingly, then straddles his hips, Charles cocking his head to the side and gives a sideways smile, Erik smirks back, suddenly Erik finds his air being cut off, Charles' hands with a vice like grip around his neck, Charles growls and shows all his teeth, Erik heaves for breaths, he tries to over power the telepath to no avail.

"I hate you! Die! Just die!" Charles screams his face full of hate and rage and all the mixed feelings that come with it.

Erik and Charles are both flung from the nightmarish dream, Erik's chest his covered in sweat his head is filled with rage, hate, hurt, pain, confusion, indecision, he realizes these thoughts are not his own, he turns to his right gasping for breath, Charles has turned himself on his side in the fetal position his back towards him, head in his hands, Erik swears if he pulled at his hair any harder it will all fall out in clumps.

"Charles! Charles its okay." Erik tries to comfort even with all the pain and anguish filling the room, Erik hearing every thought and feeling every fear that Charles is currently.

I AM CHARLES, I AM CHARLES XAVIER, I AM CHARLES FRANCIS XAVIER!

The thoughts are no longer a stream of muttering sentences Charles is screaming the words, fighting for his very sanity fighting for dominance of his own mind.

Erik grabs him by the shoulder and turns him over.

"Your Charles Xavier, a Professor on Mutation, your name is Charles Xavier, You are my friend, you are my best friend." Erik chants along with him pulling him in his arms and rocking him, Charles is crying again, keeping his head gripped in his hands, Erik repeats the sentence a few more times until all the noise and projections slowly calm to a quiet murmur of confusion and mixed wills, Charles is breathing heavy, Erik brushing his hand through his hair with one arm holding him flush against his chest with the other. "You are Charles Francis Xavier, your are my best friend, you are mine." Erik whispers into his curls Charles' hands move to knot the fabric of his shirt with his hands.

"Charles, calm your mind." He mutters sweetly, "Calm your mind." He added, Charles breathing slows until it turns shallow and calm and almost safe.

Erik lets out a sigh, keeping the weeping man in his arms,

Erik

"I'm here."

I'm sorry

"Don't apologize." Erik replied, Charles shuttered in his arms.

I don't want you to die he projected, tears starting anew, Erik knew this, he knew Charles.

"I know." He replied and kissed his temple "Its alright, calm down Charles, I'm not going anywhere."

Charles closed his eyes and pressed a cheek against his chest listening to Erik's heart beat.

You are real, your all that's real to me he replied, Erik's heart fluttered, rubbing his hand down Charles back comfortingly.

"Your all that's real to me." Charles wrapped his arms around him and held him close, they stayed like that for several moments, until Charles had finally calmed down enough to go back to sleep, his nose nudged to Erik's chest and wrapped in his arms.

Erik woke up with a crick in his neck and one arm asleep wrapped around Charles, Charles was still fast asleep, there hadn't been many more dreams at least not ones that ended badly, Erik and Charles had been in them together, Erik tried to push the thought of the first dream in the back of his mind, it was no longer a question, Charles had feelings for the metal bender and until this point had been able to hide them.

Now it was all out on the table for Erik to see, feel and taste, Charles' dreams felt so real, simply proving the telepaths gift for details.

Charles stirred awake not long after Erik, Charles sighed contented his ear pressed to Erik's heart.

His arm draped around Erik's waist slid lazily down to rest between them, Charles unabashedly nudged his cheek into Erik's chest and a palm flat on his stomach.

Erik twisted a brunette curl in his fingers gently heavy lidded eyes looking at the top of his delicately placed head, Charles couldn't stop the tears that welled in his eyes, the room was a thrum of headache and heart throb, Erik could feel it all, could feel more than hear Charles' beating heart and shallow breaths.

Charles and Erik were snuggling, and neither cared to pretend they weren't.

Erik would've asked why the tears but he didn't have to, in all of this darkness, pain and confusion, Charles had one friend, one anchor to protect him, assure him who he was and keep him on track, Charles shivered from the feel of having Erik underneath him the man he so desired for so long.

It wasn't a desire for his body or sex, but a desire for his companionship a desire to have him completely, the desire to have him take care of him and him to take care of, it was this moment when Charles realized he had finally found that special someone, he had finally found Erik.

"Charles." Erik whispered delicately, Charles turned slowly until his eyes met with Erik's, Erik brushing his check with the tips of his fingers.

I know how you feel, but we cant be together,

Erik had prepared his sentence but was interrupted.

"Don't Erik, don't say anything." Charles pleaded the low thrum of the room turning to an almost panic, it was too soon, too much, Charles couldn't handle what he had waited so long for being taken away so quickly, he needed Erik, needed the faint hope that he needed him too.

"Charles, I do need you." He replied

"Not as much as I need you." He then slowly pulled himself away sitting up, Erik sighed disappointed in the loss of warmth, Charles sat on the edge of the bed his feet tangling off as he leant over to put his face in his hands.

"Your much stronger than you think." Erik replied sitting up as well, the noise and voices becoming louder the longer Charles is awake, its just how it works, they wake up with him and go to bed with him.

Erik scooted closer behind him and wrapped his arms around him, Charles let out a shaky breath as tears fell.

Charles hadn't told Erik of his feelings before because he didn't want Erik to be burdened by them, and also he was afraid of what the reply would be, now he knew, Erik wouldn't be with him and it was something he had to try and get over.

"I'm weak." He retorted, Erik shook his head then laid it between the telepaths shoulder blades.

"You are strong, stronger than anyone I have ever met." He replied, Charles shuttered against him.

"You need to get out more." He mumbled back, Erik chuckled into him.

"You are handling all of this very well, don't give up." He encouraged, Charles leaned back against him his hands moving from his face to cover Erik's hands that rested on his stomach.

I love you, why cant we be together, I know what you feel about me, I've seen how you look at me, I feel how you feel against me, welcome, whole, safe. Of course he doesn't love you, you're a boy, a professor on mutation, your weak, your too weak, Erik is perfect, Erik is special, you are not, you are weak, you are weak.

He doesn't love me, Why cant he give it a chance, no one would have to know, I want him, I need him, Erik, Erik, I am Erik's….

Erik's eyes welled up, he knew Charles was talking to himself but he couldn't control it, Charles was projecting there was nothing he could do about it, Charles shuttered against him covering his face in his hands as tears fell.

"I'm sorry, my friend, I am so sorry." He whispered, Erik held him tighter.

"Your not weak, you are special, Charles, perfect." He replied to his thoughts.

"Try to ignore it Erik, your not supposed to hear that." He replied, Erik shook his head.

"I cannot ignore it, You are very strong, you have the courage to care for those that will only ever hurt you, I do not." He replied, Charles turned to lay on his side pulling out of Erik's tight embrace and curled up into a ball.

"I'm desperate so I care for those in spite of it, I am broken because I'm weak." He corrected, Erik sighed in defeat, he could never convince Charles of his worth, not with him fighting him every step of the way.

"Charles, you cannot give up, come on, lets get out of here get some fresh air." Erik replied and nudged him with his palm softly, Charles groaned and gripped his head in his hands.

"I'd really rather not." He replied darkly, turning into the pillows.

"Charles, come on." He replied a little more firmly.

"No, Erik, leave me alone." He replied equally demanding, Erik straightened up.

"Charles, get up."

"No, get out Erik, just get out." He replied, Erik's heart stung with hurt.

I don't need your pity, I don't need pity at all, especially not from you, you don't love me, you don't need me, you don't want me.

Erik stood abruptly from the bed and left, he actually did it, slamming the door behind him, Charles shook from the bang and shivered, he hadn't meant to hurt the metal bender, but it hurt too much pain to have him so close, and yet on other ends of the world.

Charles closed his eyes and quit fighting, letting the voices in his head envelope him, take him over, without Erik, he had no reason to try.

xXx

Wowness Angst much? Hope you guys like the new installment, had fun writing this, btw I have nothing written after this so far, so… next update could take a while but don't fret, I have a lot of ideas and plenty of ground to cover.

Thanks for all the support! Please let me know what you think, or I may stop fighting the voices, without your reviews I have no reason to try.. ***Sobs*** JK


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Of Unsound Mind (3/?)****  
><strong>**Pairing: Erik/Charles****  
><strong>**Rating: NC-17****  
><strong>**Summary: What if Charles had not been as strong in mind as everyone had hoped, Shaws death killing Charles mental strength, meaning Charles can no longer control his telepathy and is afraid of what he could do to harm those whom he loves most.**

**Chapter Summary: Charles has to deal with being Charles Xavier, Erik has to deal with wanting Charles Xavier.**

**A/N: so this is kind of odd, it's a little angst then fluff at the same time? Hope you like it, apparently I cant stay away from fluff… :/**

**xXx**

**Erik leant against the door he had just slammed shut covering his face in his hands, he had rejected Charles simply because he wanted to be able to help him without making things more complicated than they already were, Erik hoped maybe one day Charles would be well enough to accept him on his own accord, when he's back on his own two feet, not because Erik was the only one there to keep him sane.**

**Erik exhaled heavily trying to force his lids closed and lock the tears behind them, Erik let out a shaky breath.**

**He wished Charles hadn't cut him off mid sentence, he wanted to tell him no they cannot be together, at least until Charles is well enough to make that kind of decision, he wanted to be with the telepath, more than anything, especially now that he had seen with his own minds eye the way Charles sees him. He had felt his warmth. tasted his rosy lips Erik had experienced every dream Charles had he wished he could experience them for real.**

**The dream Charles had about them lying together under silk covers naked, caring about nothing but the warm body next to them, spent on desire and love making, he wanted to experience the dream he had of the picnic, the sun high in the sky in a cool fall breeze, Charles enthusiastically explaining mutation and the scientific side of it, before finding his head in Erik's lap and his hair being brushed through with long able fingers. Erik had seen them all, along side his sleeping friend, but Erik knew he could never live with himself if he took what he wanted when Charles wasn't well enough to say otherwise.**

**Erik took a few moments to gather himself, he knew Charles was ill and needed him to be strong, he shouldn't let Charles' mood swings hurt him and make him lose sight on the goal at hand, getting Charles well again.**

**Erik lowered his hands from his face, and pushed off the door to stand, he may as well get some breakfast while he is out, Charles could hold his own for a few minutes until he got back. Or so he thought.**

**xXx**

Charles spent the next 10 minutes laying in silence, his heart ached with a deeper hurt than he had ever felt before, Charles couldn't even form tears in his blue eyes, he was too tired too, too exhausted to cry anymore, his face contorted into sorrow but no tears would flow, no cries would leave his mouth, Charles clutched to his arms as he wrapped them over his own chest, his heart rate increased, his head began to pound, but more than that, the voices became louder, even more demanding, calling to him, pushing him to give in, Charles exhaled as all his defenses ceased, all his battling had gone, but to his surprise nothing happened, he was once again Charles Xavier, he understood who he was and had no question about it, he knew what he heard and what was being said were not his own thoughts, not his own words.

This was both a relief and a heart break, Charles had hoped he could find relief from his heartache by becoming someone else, living their nightmare allowing them to control his emotions and make them anything they wanted, but instead he was stuck in himself, stuck with the pain of rejection, it was too much to handle, too much pain to control.

Charles stood from the bed staring blankly into the mirror covered wall, his hair mused sticking in random directions like a crazy person, dark circles lined his red eyeballs where they should be white, but what he noticed overall were the heavy frown lines that marked his fair skin around his lips, no longer a rosy red, but a pale gray, all color and light gone leaving him in this new dark world, his perspective was different, he hated the man no, the beast staring back at him, a ruined creature with no self control and no will to survive, his hurt and pain turned to an uncontrollable rage, Charles giving out a wretched scream as he flung vases and books from the book shelf with one swipe of his forearms, then turning to flip the nightstand on its side, then the armchair that stood alone next to the bed, turning to the wall and staring at his face in it before hitting it with clutched fists over and over until it shattered into tiny pieces glass shrapnel sticking into his pale hands and arms tears stung his tired eyes as he fell to his knees on the floor, covering his face in his hands, the glass imbedded in his palms not even a side thought as it scraped his delicate pale flesh.

xXx

Erik hadn't been gone longer than a few moments but when he returned with a breakfast tray in his hands, he had opened the door to a more horrifying sight than any other Charles had displayed, he was sitting his knees to his chest, face in his hands, Erik immediately noticed the tossed about furniture and broken glass mirror, Erik dropped the tray as it splattered on the floor immediately taking the weeping man in his arms.

God why had he left him alone, he never should have left him alone, no matter what he says, no matter how angry he makes him Erik pulling his hands away from his face gently Charles looked down ashamed that he couldn't control his temper any better than that, tear stained cheeks and blood stained hands, Erik quickly took his hands in his careful not to eritate the glass any further turned the telepaths palms up to the ceiling to investigate his wounds further, his red blood streamed down the sleaves of his striped pajamas Erik bit back any tears that threatened to fall, he could do that later once Charles had been cared for.

"I'm going to carry you to the bathroom ok?" Erik whispered not even asking him what had happened, he didn't have too, Charles nodded his consent silently as Erik carefully wrapped him up in his arms, and stood carrying him to the bathroom where he could get him cleaned up and taken care of.

Erik set him gently on the floor atop of the bathroom rug so he could lean against the wall then stood taking out a first-aid kit from the cabinet and sitting indiean style next to him.

Erik taking a pair of scissors to cut the sleeves off his shirt before getting a damp cloth to dab up some of the blood, Charles winched to that but didn't pull away, Erik could only take in a deep breath and try his hardest not to scold the man for what he had done, he knew Charles hadn't been right, but it hurt too much to see him so broken.

"Do you know who it was this time?" he asked nonchalantly before pulling out a pair of tweezers to get the small pieces of shrapnel out of his pale palms, Charles gave a small look of fright at that then moved his eyes to meet with Erik's, Erik holding his palm so delicately the touch was barely noticeable had Charles not been watching.

Charles looked down not replying to the question.

"Charles?" he asked calmly as he carefully pulled a shard of mirror from his skin, Charles hissed but tried not to pull away, he knew this was the only option.

"I.. I'm sorry." He replied not answering his question he was ashamed of himself he hadn't a reason to do what he did, the personality that had hurt him the most was his own, this was something that scared Charles, made him feel like he could never return to be the man he once was.

"For what?" he asked quietly as he began to peck away tiny sharp pieces, each one becoming more numb than the first.

"For yelling at you, for making you angry." He explained, Erik exhaled and nodded.

"I'm sorry for getting angry, and leaving you." He replied. "Charles, why would you do this to yourself?" he replied, Charles inhaled sharply, He had forgotten for a moment that all his thoughts would be projected no wonder Erik hadn't asked him twice. Charles didn't answer, couldn't answer, just dropped his head as tears threatened to fall, Erik moved one hand to cup his cheek.

"Charles, you were hurt, you just need time to heal, and self loathing is not the best way to go about it." He added a little more firm than he had meant, Charles nodded.

"I know." He whispered in reply, Erik smiled sideways at him then continued to care for his hand, Charles took in a deep breath to try and calm his beating heart.

"Erik?" he said after a few silent moments.

"Hmm." He replied

"These are my favorite pajamas, look what you did to them." He complained, Erik turned his gaze to look up Charles, Charles gave a small smile of amusement, Erik chuckled and shook his head.

"What I did to them?" he mocked, Charles smiled softly before dropping his head once again, finally when Erik had gotten every little piece of glass out he cleaned the small cuts carefully with alcohol then wrapped his delicate hands with some gauze, kissing his wrapped knuckles to top it off.

"All done." He replied and stood picking up the bloody wash cloth from the floor and the med kit beside it, Charles remained on the tile floor for a few more moments Erik turning on the sink to wash his hands.

"Thank you." Charles said under his breath, Erik caught the projection first.

"Of course." He replied as he put the med kit back in the cabinet over the sink.

Charles inspected the bandages on his hands, just the very tips of his fingers sticking out of the ends.

"Erik, don't take me out, I don't want the children to see." He said nervously, Erik hesitated then nodded, he understood that however he hoped he could get Charles out at sometime perhaps late when the kids are all in bed.

"Alright." He replied, turning to look at the weak man on the floor and frowned. "how about some clean cloths hmm?" he said sweetly leaning down to help him up with a firm grip on his biceps Charles nodded as he stood.

Erik walked with him to the bedroom and helped him sit down, before turning to get some cloths out of the dresser to change him into, normally Charles could change himself but Charles hands were so bound up he had difficulty even closing them.

Erik knew this, he had heard Charles' thought as he finished up with them in the restroom, that's why Erik offered to help in the first place, Erik set the new cloths on the bed next to Charles then began on the buttons of his pajama top.

Charles pale gray skin flushed an almost pink, nothing like it used to but close enough, the air in the room seemed to turn warmer than it had been, and flustered Erik smiled at him as he unbuttoned him gently.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed." Erik comforted which only made things worse.

_I could kiss him now, he's so close, he's warm and cares for me, I can tell, warmth is emanating from him, he wants it, I can give it to him… _

Erik can hear all of this and can tell Charles is already more himself, since he is feeling well enough to think the word '_emanating' _Erik cant help but smile softly and Charles knows he heard him, heard it all, Charles wished Erik was wearing the helmet or himself, either of them as long as someone was, Erik and Charles both turned to the head piece that had been toppled to the ground when the nightstand was knocked over, Erik turning back to Charles as their eyes meet, his hands hesitate on the buttons over Charles' naval, Charles without hesitation leant up and crashed their lips together, bandaged hands moving to brush the peaking fingertips over Erik's jaw, Erik didn't pull away, didn't return the affection, Charles pushed slightly more firm into him sucking on his bottom lip before pulling back, Erik's heart beat loud in his chest and for a moment all was silent, no thoughts no words, and no interruptions.

Erik dropped his head and began on his buttons again acting as if nothing had happened, the room filled with good feelings, warmth and anticipation, Charles had finally kissed him, he may not have returned the affection but he hadn't pulled away either.

"Erik." Charles breathed, Erik hesitated before turning his gaze back into his eyes. "Did you feel it?" he asks, Erik swallows hard, he had felt it alright, this 'waiting for Charles to be well enough' thing was going to be harder than he thought, he nodded silently, Charles smiling broadly, as Erik gently pushed the shirt from his shoulders, undressing and dressing Charles will be much more uncomfortable now, much more.

"Charles, your not…" he hesitated as he stood to roll up the shirt and toss it in the garbage, Charles' heart dropped to his stomach, he thought Erik was going to tell him he wasn't what he wanted, wasn't good enough. "Charles, your not ready for me." He continued, Charles' head dropped and he let out a sad sigh.

He knew he wasn't, but he wanted him oh so badly.

"In time maybe you will be, but not yet, your not thinking clearly, not as well as you should." He added, Charles nodded again.

"I understand" he replied, Erik setting a comforting hand on his shoulder which he didn't allow to stay for too long on his bare pale skin, Erik cleared his throat before picking up a white t shirt to pull over Charles' head, Charles reached for the sky allowing the soft cotton to slide down his arms and on, Erik smiled sideways at him.

"When I am better, will I be ready then?" he asked a little too impatient.

"That's up to you when the time comes." He replies quietly sliding the blue button up, up his arms before buttoning it, Charles nods, after buttoning the last button Erik hesitates in taking Charles pants off, he swallows hard and Charles knows exactly why.

"Just pretend you're a nurse, and I'm a wrinkly old man."

Charles teased, Erik couldn't help but chuckled quietly to that, appreciating the humor to lighten the atmosphere that currently weighed with wanting and desire.

Erik didn't waist anytime in stripping him down to his boxers, faster would be better, Erik leaning down to pull up some trousers over those toned pale legs, Erik cleared his throat once they were standing Charles' trouser zipper in Erik's fingers and their mouths inches apart.

Erik's glance moving to take in the sight of Charles' lips as he clinched the bottom in his teeth, Erik quickly zips his trousers and buttons them stepping away from him quickly as if he was a magnet with a negative wave, Charles smiled softly his head dropping to look at his outfit, Erik turned his back on him in order to gather himself as he puts his dirty cloths away and begins straightening up the room, Charles takes his seat on the bed watching as Erik cleans up the broken glass.

"Erik." Charles asks, Erik turns to look at him as he dumps the glass into the trash can. "Will you read to me?" he asks, Erik hesitates a moment before his lips curve into a soft smile.

"Shakespeare, Poe?" he asks with a glint in his eye as he turns the nightstand upright finishing up with the cleaning.

"Actually I was thinking something like, Treasure Island." He replied and smiled,

"I can do that."

xXx

Charles had curled up next to Erik his nose to the left of his chest and a hand draped over his stomach on the bed, Erik holding the book in one hand the other wrapped around the telepaths shoulders, a blanket pulled over them, Erik had just finished the first chapter and some of the second when Charles dozed off, Erik turning to smile down at him, dropping his head to sneak a kiss from his slightly parted lips, he pulled back and smiled softly, Charles stirred slightly just enough to turn further into him and fall back asleep, Erik setting the book down on his lap when the door opened, in stepped Hank with some dinner for the duo, his eyes widened at the sight in front of him, he hadn't expected what he saw, Erik quickly pulled the covers over Charles' bandaged hands and gave him a stern look.

"He was troubled so I read to him, now he's asleep." He said to the question on Hanks face, Hank nodded and set the tray on a nearby table.

"I thought you might be hungry." He replied in a whisper. "How is he?"

Erik exhaled quietly glancing over at Charles.

"He's getting better, but its going to take time." He replied, Hank nodded.

"We can talk more later, I'd hate to wake him." He said before turning to leave, Erik simply nodded, Hank turned slowly then pulled the door closed behind him. Erik tilted his head just barely to rest on Charles', and couldn't help but smile tightly.

Erik exhaled tiredly and squeezed Charles closer in his arms, letting his eyes close and his head fall back on the head board.

xXx

Erik stares at the pale figure sitting across from him as he leans down over the chess table to move one of his pawns, Charles' eyes glint and his lips soften into a smile, Erik leaning back in his seat as eyes wonder to the pale exposed skin of Charles' throat and upper chest, buttons laid open lazily.

Charles emptying a glass of scotch and letting his hand fall to the arm rest.

Erik lets out a strained sigh, Charles' deep blue eyes rake up his body from the floor up until they stop at his eyes, Erik knew what the telepath was thinking, it was something Erik also had in mind.

"Your quite restless tonight." Charles pointed out charmingly, Erik swallowed hard crossing his legs in the armchair sitting at an angle as if trying to cover his arousal.

"And your not?" he replied and rose a brow allowing his eyes to wonder over him just as Charles had done previously, Charles shifting in his seat then gave a wry smile.

"I can help you with that." He replied a pointed glance between Erik's legs, Erik cleared his throat tapping his fingers on the armrest in thought.

"Don't be a tease." He replied, voice heavy with desire.

Charles' eyes sparkled before he stood from his seat, Erik's fingers clinching the armrests of the chair in anticipation as Charles set his glass on the table then proceeded to stand in front of him.

"I never tease." He replied before dropping to his knees in front of his chair, his pale hands reaching up to stroke his knees gently one hand moving to part Erik's legs, Erik's heart jumped to his chest, as his knees were gently but firmly separated, Charles looking into his eyes for a moment, Erik's breath hitched and unsteady as his gray eyes starred wearily upon the mutant in front of him.

"Relax, I wont bite." He replied a little too cheekily, Erik growled when hot hands moved to cup his erection through his trousers.

Charles' delicate fingers moving to unbuckle his belt.

"Charles." Erik gritted, Charles looked up at him intently. "If you do this, there's no going back." He warned, Charles swallowed hard.

"I would hope not." He replied his hands hastily unbuttoning the top button then pulling down the zipper, Erik grunted as he slid farther into his seat his crotch moving closer to where Charles mouth was hovering over him, Charles took in a deep breath before tugging down the crisp white briefs taking his cock in his hands gently, Erik moaned his head falling back on the chair, Charles leaned down to huff his hot breath on the tip, Erik groaned.

"Do it, if your going too." He demanded, Charles didn't waist any time taking him into his mouth, Erik gasped and eyes slammed shut, Charles bobbing his head as his soft wet tongue laved around the thick shaft

Erik's hands moved to brush through his dark curls with a groan Charles sucked and wrapped his hand around him and tugged, Erik's skin flushed and became hot, too hot to wear a turtleneck, with one last tug Erik came into his mouth, Charles moaned and swallowed taking in breaths through the nose, once Erik had finished he slid his pink lips down to the end, Erik's limping cock falling from his mouth with an obscene slurp.

Erik heaved in air to catch up with himself, Charles proceeded to lick him clean until Erik sat up enough to pull his hair and head back.

"That's enough, unless you want to start again." He warned, Charles giggled then pulled his briefs closed followed by his trousers, Erik pulling him up by the hair to sit on his lap, covering his lips with a kiss so hot it burned, Charles moaned into him Erik's tongue pushing between his teeth to taste him in his mouth, Charles pulled back and blushed.

"I love you." Charles whispered.

"God help you." Erik replied breathless Charles smiled down at him before kissing him once again deeply.

xXx

Erik stirred awake, breathing heavily as his weary eyes slid open he turned his head to find Charles' blue eyes staring up at him, Erik swallowed hard, Charles' cheeks blushed and his eyes nervously turned down, Erik brushed a hand through his hair.

"Your dreams are becoming much more ….intimate." he said for lack of a better word, Charles giggled before he replied.

"Sorry my friend, but that dream was yours." He replied, Erik's brows furrowed as he looked down at him.

"Charles, its okay to have dreams like this, but its not okay to lie to me because your too embarrassed to take ownership." He replied hurtfully, Charles' head shot up. Erik pulled out of his embrace and stood angrily his arms crossed over his chest and back to the bed.

"Erik, I'm not lying, I didn't lie." Charles defended sadly, Erik turning to glare at him, Charles' brows furrowed in thought. "I hadn't thought it was mine, perhaps it was, maybe I discerned it wrong, I'm sorry." Charles replied and looked down trying to decipher if perhaps it had been his dream, Erik sighed and rubbed his temple.

"Maybe it was mine." He replied and reached out to him, the white bandages almost shockingly noticed even in the dark. "Please come back, please don't leave me, I'll wear the helmet, that will help, give me the helmet." Charles begged desperately before sitting up to grab it, Erik set a hand over it blocking Charles.

"No, its okay Charles you don't have to wear it, I'm not leaving." He replied his voice softening Charles sighed in relief his gaze dropping to the bed.

"Perhaps it had been mine, I'm sorry, Charles." He replied then slid under the covers next to him. Taking his bandaged hand in his staring at it for a moment, he had left Charles before and look what had happened, the dreams were something Erik just needed to deal with and behave like an adult about them, he could do that, it was a dream it doesn't have to mean anything.

"No, it doesn't" Charles replied to his thoughts, Erik's glance turned up to his wide blue eyes, Erik had just realized Charles had heard his thoughts this time, Charles hadn't been able to read thoughts very well only project them Erik smiled down at him.

"You heard my thoughts." He replied happily.

"Sorry, I hadn't meant too." He replied and looked down.

"It's a good thing, it means your getting better." He replied then tugged him into his arms, Charles smiled into him.

"I suppose your right." He said and nudged into him.

"Its only a matter of time now." He replied rubbing a hand up his spine, maybe a little too hotly.

"Soon, I'll be well enough to play a game of chess, I know how much you've been wanting too." Charles replied, Erik's grin widened, "Perhaps I'll have to wear the helmet with how well your reading minds again." Erik joked, Charles simply nudged into him further and enjoyed the feel that Erik was now projecting, anticipation and adoration, something Charles could get used to feeling from the metal bender.

xXx

Hello! Please leaving comments/reviews! I want to know if this is sucking or not

Thanks! Btw thank you all that have been reviewing and my faithful followers! Make me very happy each time you say something about my work!


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Of Unsound Mind (5/?)  
>Pairing: ErikCharles  
>Rating: NC-17<br>Summary: What if Charles had not been as strong in mind as everyone had hoped, Shaws death killing Charles mental strength, meaning Charles can no longer control his telepathy and is afraid of what he could do to harm those whom he loves most.

X

Erik woke up next to Charles, whom seemed to be sleeping peacefully, Erik smiled sideways at him and brushed a stray lock of hair away from his cheek, Charles stirred quietly and took in a deep comfortable breath before he opened his eyes and looked up into Erik's. Erik's chest filled with warmth, Charles watched him silently for a few moments before brushing his fingertips over the metal benders lips, hesitating on his bottom lip

**Love him, want him, need him, love him, kiss him, want to kiss him…**

before he closed his eyes and leaned into Erik's chest.

He pulled him close, he had heard the stream of emotions and had felt them, but Charles had held back, hadn't acted on his desires, had shown some self control, Erik sighed he knew Charles was going to be okay, he hadn't damaged him permanently he could calm down and take care of him, Charles would be himself again soon, and all of this heartache would end.

_Its not your fault._

Charles had projected and buried his face in Erik's warm chest.

"Yes it is, Charles, I did this to you." He replied, Charles took in a shaky breath

_I knew this could happen, and I agreed to take the risk._

He replied

"Why?" he asked and squeezed him in his arms.

"Because I love you."

X

It had been 6 months since that morning, and Charles still couldn't control his telepathy, Erik was beginning to think he would never recover, not completely, but Charles constantly tried to convince him he would

Charles' hands had healed and he still had some instances where he would lose control forget whom he was, and all in all he was not whole, not healed, not the Charles Xavier everyone knew and loved.

"Professor, hey Professor!" Sean called out excited as he jogged to the telepath whom was sitting in the grass underneath a large tree in the front lawn, it was now spring and the weather had started to turn warm and fresh thought it was still chilly enough to wear a coat, the grass was thick and green and the sun stood high in the sky.

Erik was standing not far when Sean had caught the day dreaming telepath by surprise, Charles shook for a second then caught his breath letting out a silly smile clutching his chest with one hand.

"Your going to give me a heart attack boy." Charles replied and gave a breathy laugh, Erik turned to Charles concerned for but a moment before he realized he was just fine.

"Look what Hank made me!" he replied excited and thrust a strange object in front of Charles with a smile, Charles took it and looked at it with a face of confusion.

"What exactly is it?" he asked, Sean smiled before snatching it from Charles and placing it on his wrist.

"It's a compass, he said I can use it so I don't get lost like I did last week!" he replied Erik approached them and stood next to Charles, Charles glanced between the two confused.

"You got lost?" he asked and shot Erik a look.

"Yeah last Saturday when…" Sean hesitated. "Never mind, its just in case that ever happens." He added nervously, they hadn't told Charles of the event because they didn't want to worry him with such things, not in his condition.

"My condition? Erik I am perfectly well to know if one of the students go missing." He replied and stood abruptly, obviously upset, Erik sighed and rubbed his temple in frustration.

"Sorry, I didn't mean too say anything." Sean said and dropped his head.

"Its alright, I'll go talk to him." Erik replied and went after Charles whom had fled in the direction of the lake at quite a fast pace.

Once Erik found him he was sitting on the dock his feet dangling off the end just a few inches from the water, his face was buried in his hands Erik frowned at the sight, he knew Charles wasnt well enough to handle a missing Child case, but Charles was so stubborn.

"I am not stubborn." Charles mumbled into his hands, Erik sighed and sat next to him on the dock.

"Charles, we didn't want you to worry." He defended placing a careful hand on his knee, Charles tried to hide the tears that were now running down his pale cheeks.

"all I am is a burden to you, and everyone else." He replied sadly and raised his eyes to look into Erik's. "Just take me to a home so you and the kids can move on, I'll leave the mansion to you and you can take this over, I cant do it." Charles replied and hugged himself looking down at his reflection in the water. "I'm worthless."

Erik shook his head enthusiastically.

"No Charles, you are not worthless, how could you even offer something like that? I could never send you away, never." Erik replied and wrapped him in his arms.

_I love you, I love you, I love you._

Charles shuttered in his embrace and his heart sped up, hearing Erik's confession even if it was accidental.

"I cant hold you back anymore." Charles replied, and pulled away as much as he could with Erik holding him so firmly.

"Charles, I will not leave you. You cannot make me." He replied and brushed a hand through Charles' dark locks.

Charles nodded.

"Erik. I'm never going to get better, can you live with that?" he asked sadly, Erik tilted his chin up to look in his eyes.

"I have no choice." He replied, Charles smiled at him a faint sad smile.

Xxx

Erik had gotten Charles in his pajamas and into bed easy enough tonight, there were good days and bad days, today had been a bad one, but now Charles was sleeping peacefully under the thick covers of his king sized bed, Erik took the opportunity to sit down on a chair next to the bed and relax.

He cared for the telepath, dearly, but some days he was exhausting. He didn't mean to be, but he was.

Erik rubbed his eyes tiredly before turning to look at the sleeping form in the bed, his mouth curved into a frown as he slept.

Even his dreams were exhausting, today had started out good but then the incident in the kitchen when Charles had panicked and ended dinner with him in an appalling tantrum one that he hadn't meant to cause in the first place, Erik had spent the next 2 hours trying to calm him down and get him to forgive himself for causing a disturbance, one that worried the kids and Raven above the rest of them.

Charles had finally forgiven himself for ruining the family dinner and finally fell asleep.

Erik wanted just a few minutes to unwind before joining him in sleep,

As for their relationship status, it had been left open, Charles needed more time and the pressure of a relationship more than friendship would be much too complicated at a time like this.

However the telepath made it a habit of sending the wrong kind of thoughts to make it any easier, Erik knew this was by accident, but that didn't change the emotions they caused to rage.

X

Erik had been asleep for a while now but was shook to wake abruptly at a loud crash of thunder and lightning outside the bedroom window, Erik caught his breath.

"Its alright, just thunder." He tried to comfort the telepath then rest a hand on his shoulder to find the bed empty next to him.

Erik quickly turned and flipped the lamp on next to the bed, Charles wasn't there.

"Charles?" he asked as he started to panic, he flung the blankets off himself and stood going to the connected bathroom flinging the door open.

"Charles!" he called out to the empty room, where could he be?

Erik immediately ran out of the room and into the hallway calling his name again, then ran down to the end of the hallway.

"Charles! Are you here?" he declared again to no answer the thunder was rolling and lightning flashing violently the wind began to swirl outside in a frightening storm, Erik rushed out of the hallway and checked everywhere he could to no avail, not in the kitchen, library or dining room, after Erik had exhausted his search of the house he flung the front doors open as the rain and wind rushed in.

"Charles!" he called out into the storm with no answer, Erik ran out into the rain using a hand to try and block the rain from his eyes.

"Charles!" he called out again, panic filled his stomach, where could he be? God he hoped he wasn't out in this storm.

Erik proceeded to search the front yard the wind whipping violently and trees swaying, the air was cold and the water colder, Erik shivered and wrapped himself in his arms.

"Charles?" he called out again.

Erik? Erik help, please

Erik's stomach was in his throat, he searched frantically for him.

"Where are you?" he called out searching in the darkness.

_Erik!_

Erik was getting more flustered he had to find him and fast.

Finally he stumbled upon a heap on the ground, Charles was sitting beneath the tree he had been under before his knees pulled up against his chest.

Erik dropping to his knees in front of him.

"Charles! What the hell are you doing out here?" he screamed at him tugging him up by the biceps. "Come on, we're going inside!" he screamed maybe a little too angrily.

"I was trying to find Sean, he had gotten lost, I have to find him!" Charles replied and tried to pull out of the tight grip Erik had on his arm

"Sean is in the house, where you should be!" he screamed over the noise of the rain, his words emphasized by a shock of lightning.

"no, he is lost, he told me he is lost." Charles replied and struggled against the bruising grip of Erik's fingers, Erik gripped him on either side.

"Your crazy! Your fucking crazy! Get in the house right now, Sean is not lost, you crazy fuck!" Erik screamed at him, Charles' eyes widened in shock and hurt, but he quick struggling against him and allowed Erik to drag him back inside, once inside the mansion doors, Charles looked down as he began to sob Erik's hand still gripping one of his elbows.

The kids had huddled in the living room, some startled by the storm the others had heard Erik screaming Charles' name and had come out to see what was the matter.

"Go back to bed." Erik demanded as he pulled Charles along behind him.

"Is he okay?" Raven asked concerned.

"hes fine." Erik replied then cut them off by slamming the door behind him.

X

Once in their room Charles' sobbing was heartbreaking, Erik couldn't figure out why he was crying so much, his pajamas were soaked and Erik was now too.

Erik closed and locked the door behind them then began to take Charles wet shirt off, when Charles struggled against him and pushed him away.

"Charles, tonight is not the night to be stubborn, you will get sick if you don't get dried off." Erik retorted and tugged him close again by the shirt, then tugged it off over his head though Charles was fighting against him.

Charles pulled out of the shirt and backed up until he bumped against the back wall.

"Charles, what's the matter?" Erik asked, his patience seemed to have run out in the rain. Charles shuttered and dropped to the floor, as if this was one of the most devastating days of his life, he sobbed into himself and tried to protect himself from Erik by covering his head in his arms.

Erik knelt down in front of him

"Charles, calm down your safe." He added and placed a hand on his pale shoulder, Charles flinched.

"I'm sorry, I had been so sure." He replied and shook in fear, Erik had just realized he was the source of fear in the mans eyes, he had been the one to make him cry, he had yelled at him.

He hadn't meant to upset him, he was just so damned worried, what if Charles had been lost? he could've gotten hurt, or gotten sick, what if he wasn't able to find him?

He cursed himself for leaving the door unlocked where he could get out on his own and get into so much danger.

"Charles, you shouldn't fear me." He replied, and tried to pull his arms from his head carefully. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, I didn't mean those things I said." He tried to make amends, Charles shuttered and allowed his face to be revealed after a slight struggle.

"I'm sorry, Erik, I only was trying to help." Charles replied.

"I am fucking crazy, I am a crazy fuck." Charles sobbed and dropped his head, Erik tugged him against his chest, and brushed his hand through his wet hair.

"No Charles, your not, I would give anything to take those words back, I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry." Erik mumbled into his hair as he fell to the floor to sit with him, Charles wrapped his arms around him and allowed himself to sit somewhat on Erik's lap. "I was just so damn worried for you, I thought I lost you." He added hoping this could somehow ease Charles' suffering.

After a while Erik got Charles calm enough to get him in some dry cloths and warmed up, not long after that he had fallen once again back to sleep, Erik made a mental note to do something extra nice for him in the morning.

X

Charles woke before Erik had, the sun peaking into the window the calm after the storm, Charles stared down at the metal bender for a moment before brushing his hand through his hair, Erik stirred but fell back to sleep with a soft smile on his lips.

Charles stood from the bed and quietly changed out of his pajamas and put on a pair of tweed trousers and a button up shirt, then put his favorite black pea coat over that, he glanced once more at the sleeping man before leaning down and setting a gentle kiss on his cheek, then pulled away and left the room.

Charles left the mansion without a single good bye, he knew if he had stayed to grant one they would talk him into staying, he knew this was better for everyone, he could go to a home for the mentally ill and save everyone else the heartache, as much as Erik tried he was no psychiatrist and he could not heal Charles, no one could.

Charles had to accept this and at least allow them the freedom to live a peaceful life, last night he had put not only himself in danger but everyone else too. That was something he couldn't live with, therefore he had to live without.

X

Next part will be coming soon, but here is the update, the freaking sad angts ugh update! I swear I had meant for this to be a fluffy chapter, I blame evanescence, lol

Let me know what you all thought,

Btw, Charles is supposed to seem more in his right mind in this one, so that his thinking in the end seems way absurd meaning all the readers will go "What?" in unison and make me happy!

PS: sorry this is so sad, will be in the corner crying the next 2 hours if you need me lol


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Of Unsound Mind (6/?)  
>Pairing: ErikCharles  
>Rating: NC-17<br>Summary: What if Charles had not been as strong in mind as everyone had hoped, Shaws death killing Charles mental strength, meaning Charles can no longer control his telepathy and is afraid of what he could do to harm those whom he loves most.

A/N: This Chapter features Victor Creed from the Origins: Wolverine movie, not the gross Sabertooth, and also some Victor/Charles obviously one sided and Victor/Emma yep I did.

But before you write this chapter off, don't it's a major important part in the story plot.

X

Charles entered the white brick building with sweaty palms, he knew this was the right thing to do, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't scared out of his mind.

Charles approached the front desk, his eyes had been squinting in the sun, it had been a long drive from the mansion, he hadn't bothered to pack anything he knew it would all be taken from him once he submitted himself to their treatment, admitting he was insane had been the most sane thing he had done in months.

Charles ignored the questioning face of the woman behind the counter, why would someone willingly submit themselves to this treatment, no doctors note, nothing to make this make sense.

They hadn't waited anytime stripping him of all his cloths, almost violently removing every last thing he wore, 4 men at a time with latex gloves and white coats, their personalities were ice cold, they didn't seem to bother making him feel comfortable.

After he was naked in the white empty room they stuffed his previous belongings into a plastic back then proceeded to cloth him in a pale blue jumpsuit, white socks and tennis shoes, Charles wanted to cry everything he was had just been taken from him, everything he had been, everything could've become.

But he didn't, he didn't allow himself to cry, didn't want to spend the rest of his days crying. He was going to try to get better, but if it didn't work he would gladly live the rest of his days in this place as long as he knew Erik, Raven and all the others would be safe.

After he had been dressed in his jumpsuit the men dispersed except one.

"Come with me, Mr. Xavier." He instructed with a palm up motioning in which direction he should go, Charles nodded and followed him.

On his way to his new home Charles had seen many disturbing things, one man having a panic attack had just been restrained by many men then tranquilized until further notice, others sat with blank stares and some with a pure malice in their eyes, Charles was bombarded with thoughts, none of which made any sense, the one that did was terrifying, clearly the man had been sent to the insane asylum in order to avoid a death sentence for a crime so horrifying Charles tried to push it away so he wouldn't have to see every gruesome detail.

Charles was pressured into his new room, white walls, white floor and ceiling, one bed and that's all his room consisted off, translucent lighting and a small 2 foot by 2 foot window looking outside.

Charles gulped as he stared at his new bleak existence, the door slammed closed behind him and locked, Charles sat on the twin sized bed and covered his face in his palms.

_How did it come to this?_

He sobbed into his hands for the next hours before he finally exhausted himself enough to fall asleep, alone with his thoughts, alone to live and listen to those around him.

If he hadn't been crazy before coming to this place, he would be before he left it.

X

Erik stretched out his long arms and torso with a yawn, before he could even open his eyes, the silence in his mind was deafening, he had been waking up to Charles' projections for 6 months, Erik sat up so fast it made him dizzy, he knew something was wrong, very wrong.

Erik stared at the empty space beside him, the memories of the previous night slammed into him like a freight train, Erik flung his feet off the side of the bed standing and going to the bathroom to look for him.

It was empty, everywhere he had looked was empty, this time it was different, last night he had panicked, he had sworn and had cursed at the poor telepath, he had let his emotions play a part in this, Erik knew without having a second thought, Charles was gone, and this time he would not be coming back.

X

When Raven found Erik, he was seated on the large empty bed his face in his hands, she had come to see how Charles was doing after the ordeal last night, Erik was sobbing it was late in the day and it would seem he had been there for quite some time.

"Erik, are you okay?" she asked and placed a hand on his shoulder, Erik shuttered she glanced around the room noticing immediately something no, someone, was missing.

"Where is Charles?" she asked a little frantically before bolting to the bathroom flinging the door open he wasn't there Raven turned to him and glared Erik finally turned his weary eyes up to look at her.

"What have you done with him Erik?" she asked ruefully, Erik frowned and dropped his head once again. "Answer me!" she screamed at him pushing him up on the shoulders and shook him angrily, Erik gripped her by the shoulders to stop her.

"He's gone, Raven, he left." He replied Raven glared at him.

"This is your fault! I saw how frightened he was last night, I hate you Erik!" she screamed at him then back hand slapped him in the face, Erik grimaced and held his cheek in his hand but did not retaliate, this was his fault, he deserved whatever she would throw at him.

"Its all your fault! Damn your pride Erik, I hope it kills you." She gritted at him then pushed him one last time before storming out of the room slamming the door behind her.

X

Charles woke to a loud buzz, which sounded throughout the entire building, he jolted awake, and tried to catch his breath.

'Breakfast, Rooms 100-199' he heard sounding over the hollow halls he rubbed his eyes tiredly as he heard his door unlock mechanically allowing him and the rest of his floor flee to eat their breakfast.

This was a fixed schedule; every day would be the same.

Charles dangled his feet off the edge of the bed and stretched and tried not to let his emotions ruin his day, he had come here on a mission, the mission to get better, get help.

Charles had spent perhaps a little too long getting up, a nurse in a white coat and scrubs came to his door and flung it open, a clipboard in his hands.

He glances over the papers.

"Mr. Xavier. Breakfast." He declared and motioned for him to stand, Charles nodded and complied slipping on his shoes before heading down the hall with the crowed of other mentally ill persons.

The bundle of men had all been lead to the cafeteria to eat, Charles sat at the table in the corner, he was new here, he didn't know how this kind of thing worked.

He noticed immediately the faces of everyone whom was now staring at him, he was projecting, this was something he could not control but he knew most everyone wouldn't know what to think, and everyone else would try to keep their distance.

Charles gulped he felt like he was a lamb to the slaughter the nurses and staff didn't seem to protect anyone from anything.

A plate was sat down in front of him, plain powdered eggs and toast a glass of orange juice.

Charles began to eat and couldn't stop the silent tears that slipped from his eyes down his cheeks.

He missed the children, missed Raven but overall missed Erik, Erik his rescuer.

Charles dropped his fork on his plate and covered his face in his hands.

He would likely never see them again,

Never feel those lips against his, never lay with the man he had loved with his whole heart, he had given up everything for him, his body, his dignity, his morals, his home, his family, and now his sanity.

Given it all, he had nothing left to give, not one ounce of love, one ounce of patience, not one ounce of mercy, he was dried out, had he died now it would be a blessing to end his suffering.

"Its not all that bad here." He heard a gruff voice from across the table, Charles jerked his head up eyes filled with tears as he looked upon this man in front of him, Charles was frightened, he knew everyone could hear his thoughts, had hoped they would all be insane enough that they wouldn't be believed or at least wouldn't notice.

"Your new here aren't you? Its alright I'll protect you." He added his deep voice softened by its tone.

Reaching across to place a fresh apple on Charles' plate, and smiled faintly at him, Charles stared at him from across the table nervously, he watched the man scoop some eggs onto his fork and take a bite, then stared at the apple for a moment.

"Names Creed, Victor Creed."

"Charles Xavier." He replied, Victor nodded and shook the telepaths delicate hand then continued on his breakfast.

Charles recognized him as the man he had seen in the hallway the day before, the one he had tried to stay away from, the man that had been a criminal done terrible things, Charles gulped he pushed these thoughts away, he knew if Creed felt threatened or heard his fearful thoughts it could only make things worse.

"You're a telepath." Victor replied in hushed tones, Charles gasped he hoped the man didn't take offense in this,

"I..." he hesitated trying to pick his words carefully, Victor tilted his head up his sharp nail scraping across his chin a secret way to reveal to the telepath he was also a mutant. Charles knew this and stared for a moment and nodded in agreement,

"Yes." Charles replied,

"I have a specific soft spot for telepaths." He replied and smiled a toothy grin, studying Charles closely.

"But why project everything your thinking?" he added, Charles swallowed and dropped his head.

"I'm broken." He replied, Victor half smiled at him, the explanation dripping from Charles' skull Creed didn't have to ask.

"This Erik fellow sounds like he needs to be taught a lesson." Creed replied slyly, Charles inhaled sharply and stared at the mutant in front of him, fear struck him, he knew already what Victor Creed would be capable of, he feared for the man he loved.

"Your very confused, Charles, Erik is the reason you are here, you shouldn't love this man, you should hate him, it's a relief to know your door doesn't only swing in one direction." Creed added cocking his head to the side, a cat like tongue running across the top row of pointy teeth.

Charles let out a shaky breath.

"Creed…" Charles went to object.

"Victor." He corrected.

"Victor, I'm here to try and get better to go home to him. I came on my own accord." He replied, Victor smirked at him enjoying the delicate telepaths nervous reply.

"Charles, I believe this is the beginning of a very beautiful friendship." he replied his words laced with mischief.

Charles' gaze faltered and dropped to the table.

Victor slid out from in front of the telepath tapping his knuckles on the table on his way out.

Charles covered his face in his hands, what had he gotten himself into.

X

Erik had looked everywhere for his telepath, he had gotten in the phone book and looked up every mental health hospital and home he could find and called all of them, none of which had anyone there named Charles Xavier, Erik then left the mansion and went to each home in person.

He was absolutely miserable without Charles, he was worried sick, the time he didn't spend looking for him he spent crying and regretting everything he had done up until this point.

God he loved that man, without him he had nothing.

If Erik didn't find him soon he didn't know how he could survive, not to mention how much everyone hated him. They all hated him.

Erik would not give up looking, never give up looking.

X

Charles sat in the recreation room, on the couch in front of the TV, it was his floors turn to play games and 'socialize' he glanced about the crowded space and hoped to God, Victor Creed wouldn't find him.

Said man had just entered the room it would seem he had been spending some time elsewhere, how was it that he wasn't forced into this like the rest of us?

Charles watched as he glanced around the room it would seem he had been looking for someone, he grinned when his eyes landed on the telepath, Charles' breath caught in his chest, and as he had expected Creed started on his way over.

Charles dropped his gaze to the rug in front of him, and wrung his hands nervously, glad to know at least in this setting there were few things Creed could do and not be seen doing it.

Victor plopped down on the couch next to Charles, Charles involuntarily flinched and hoped that Victor hadn't noticed as the mans arm landed atop the telepaths shoulders.

Charles was now forced to acknowledge him since his presence had been made so obvious.  
>"Where have you been?" Charles asked but tried not to reach the other mans gaze.<p>

"…Just enjoying myself." He replied after some hesitation, Charles turned his head up finally to look at him, he had a smirk upon his face and his aura was oddly light and fuzzy, buzzed almost, Charles furrowed his brows for a moment but didn't allow himself to stay that way for very long, he noticed the mans jumpsuit draped open lazily a white v neck shirt underneath.

"I'm glad to know." Charles replied and dropped his head.

Victor dropped his hand to rest on Charles' waist.

"Tell me, Charles, have you ever fucked a man before?" he asked in his ear, Charles shuttered, and shook his head in the negative.

"Been fucked by a man before?" Charles shook his head again, Victor nipped at his ear Charles' stomach was in his chest, he wished Erik was here to protect him, wished Erik was here to hold him.

"Erik isn't here, I am, I'll protect you Charles, I'll hold you." He whispered in his ear, Charles turned and stared up at him their noses inches apart, Victors breath was hot and humid on his lips, Charles swallowed roughly and his breath caught in his chest, those words did more to frighten him than comfort him, Victor smirked running his hand just a bit lower to push against his pants between his cheeks.

Charles shuttered and whimpered under his breath.

He wondered why no one was helping him, wondered why no one noticed what Victor was trying to do.

Victor snorted out of his nose and bared his teeth; Charles stared at them and tried somewhat to squirm from his intrusive hand.

Victor retreated now that he was satisfied to know there were no gray areas in what his intentions were.

"Victor, I, I'm not ready for that, any of that. Its not you, your ah.." he cleared his throat. "A very attractive man, I just.." he lied and was cut off by a rough finger over his lips.

"Shut up, I didn't ask if you were ready." Victor retorted, Charles shivered and pulled away, Victor smirked at him "You'll enjoy it, I promise." He added

Charles dropped his gaze, he was afraid, terrified.

Creed stood quickly with a slap on Charles' knee as he left, Charles buried his face in his hands and prayed he would never be left alone with him.

X

After dinner Charles and the rest of his floor were currently being ushered to their rooms for the night, Charles hugged himself and stared at the crowed around him, watching for his predator, hoping he would be lost enough in the crowed that he would not be seen.

Strong hands gripped him on the hips, Charles nearly shrieked but managed to remain calm.

"Guess who?" he didn't have to, he knew.

"Victor." Charles breathed with a shutter, Victor chuckled behind him then pushed him into his room, and against the wall the door closing behind him.

"Please, please don't do this, not yet I'll willingly give myself to you, give me time, please Victor." Charles immediately began to plead against the man whom now had him trapped against the wall his face buried in the white tile.

Victor quickly began to tear at his jumpsuit unzipping it from behind and tugging it over his shoulders then down to his ankles.

Charles struggled against him and began to cry, Victor was inescapable too strong to push away and to determined to detour with words.

"I don't want to wait, I want you now." He growled tugging at Charles boxers.

"Help! Help me please! Someone help!" Charles began to scream hoping someone would hear, Victor tugged Charles' cloths off stuffing his mouth with his own boxers to shut him up.

Charles face was soaked in tears.

_Stop, stop this, stop touching me, let me go _Charles attempted to direct his telepathy to defend himself like he had done before, he hadn't been able too since the incident on the beach but God he hoped it would work now.

"Your broken remember! It wont work." Victor growled triumphantly as he began to unzip his own jumpsuit for free his straining cock.

Charles leaned against the wall and quit struggling it was useless, he could not stop him.

All this time waiting so he could be with Erik, and now this, his first time would be taken from him, stolen and he would be left bleeding on the floor.

"Victor! Stop this right now!" Charles heard a scolding feminine voice from the door, Charles breathed out in relief as Victor pulled away and turned wide-eyed at the nurse in the door, closing and zipping his jumpsuit

"Just trying to have a little fun." He grumbled, Charles pulled his boxers out of his mouth and pulled his jumpsuit up trying to cover his nude lower half, he pulled it closed and escaped to the back corner of the room.

"You!" the nurse must have recognized him, Charles gathered himself enough to look upon his rescuer.

"If it isn't Charles Xavier." She cooed, Charles recognized her as Emma Frost, the woman he had killed her lover, Charles heart dropped to his stomach, if he wasn't in trouble before with Victor Creed, he sure as hell was now.

X

A/N: so I just got this idea idk why but Creed just jumped into my noggin while I was writing and thought this would be a perfect addition to the story.

Plus this has a plan just would've been way long all together, it will come together in the next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Of Unsound Mind (6/?)  
>Pairing: ErikCharles  
>Rating: NC-17<br>Summary: What if Charles had not been as strong in mind as everyone had hoped, Shaws death killing Charles mental strength, meaning Charles can no longer control his telepathy and is afraid of what he could do to harm those whom he loves most.

A/N: Man these Chapters are just popping out like daisies! **Ok BIG warning for this one, lots and lots of slash at the end of this chapter I'm sure my followers don't mind it but just in case this is the most detailed sexual chapter so far so just a warning.**

I wanted to wait a couple days to post this but I finished it so soon and I really wanted to share with you guys! I really hope you like it, I tried hard!

By the way thank you so much all of you that have been reading and reviewing this Fic, especially those of you that have read my other stories I really appreciate the support! I wouldn't be writing anymore probably without it!

X

"Ms Frost." Charles replied, she smirked at him.

"Victor get to your room, now." She demanded softly however her telepathy put the punch of her words in for her. "I'll give you some fun later." She added with a smirk and a twinkle in her eyes, it all came to Charles immediately, Emma must've found a new mate, one much more dangerous than Shaw ever was, much more cruel, Victor growled aroused and eyed the blonde before complying.

"Emma, please, I hadn't meant to get myself into this," Charles begged afraid she was going to do something much worse to him than Victor had planned, she could scrambled his head much worse than it already was and no one would ever know the difference.

"Stay away from Victor, he's mine." She replied

"I don't want him, he came after me." He defended.

Emma eyed him and searched out his brain realizing this was the truth.

"So, this is what happens to a telepath when their brain is linked to someone dying." She replied and closed the door behind her so she could talk with him in private.

Charles dropped his gaze sadly.

"Yes." He replied.

"Well, you deserve it." She replied coldly "Try to stay out of my way, I'll keep an eye on Victor not for you, for me." turning and leaving the room, Charles sat on the bed with a sigh, that was a close one, and it didn't seem like Frost was interested in hurting him, she didn't want to help him that was for sure, but she didn't want to harm him either.

X

Day four, that's how long he had been here, he wondered if Erik had come looking for him, of course he meant that they shouldn't be able to find him but he was curious, he had spent every waking moment with the man and hoped that Erik missed him just as much.

Charles tried to remember as much about him as he could, tried to rebuild the image of Erik in his mind, he wanted to burn it forever in his memories, the way he carries himself, his sharp contrasted jaw and gray dangerous gaze.

But above all, Charles loved his brain, loved him from the inside out, wanted to remember the way he rolls his words in his mouth, every word being said with that deep lustful tone, the one that makes Charles' heart skip a beat and his skin heat up.

Charles' head filled with thoughts of the man, he wished he could feel him, taste him, see him, but all he could do is think about him, the man he had left, the man he had to leave in order to protect, Charles allowed his head to lay back on the bed and his eyes to close, allowing tears to fall.

X

Charles was sitting at a table alone again in the cafeteria eating the same breakfast he had been forced to eat everyday, Creed entered the cafeteria a half hour after Charles had, he imagine the man must've been with Emma until now, Charles dropped his head nervously as Victor stood next to him and fisted his hands at his sides.

"You've been on my mind, telepath." He growled, Charles hesitated then raised his eyes to look at him and swallowed, he hoped Emma would emerge and protect him again.

"You want to know why I like telepaths?" he asked as he sat across from him, Charles glanced about the room trying to find Emma or anyone to protect him.

"Because, they cant help but project every orgasm, it fills me with this undying glow, its like a drug, a drug I'm addicted too." He added, Charles licked his lips and glanced to meet his eyes, Victor grinned at him.

"You can still project, I wonder how strongly though, Emma's is pretty intense but I've heard about you Xavier, she says your much stronger than her, though she would never admit it to you herself." He added taking a drink of water from the glass in his hand, Charles tried to ignore him.

"I'd rather not talk about this." Charles replied weakly, Victor grinned triumphantly, he liked the way the telepath was squirming in his seat.

"Victor, up now." Emma demanded with a hand on his shoulder, Victor stood and left the table.

"Come on Xavier, your going home." She added a fire in her eyes grabbing him by the arm and dragging him from his seat.

"No, I cant, I cant go home until I can control my telepathy, if you send me back I could hurt someone." He pleaded as she drug him out of the cafeteria into the hallway then slammed him against the wall with a surprising strength.

"Well you sure as hell cant stay here." She demanded.

"Where can I go then?" he asked breathless. "Why do you care if I'm safe."

"I really don't give a damn if your safe, but Victor will hardly even look at me anymore with you around. Its making me crazy." She replied and huffed annoyed.

"But I cant go back."

"What if I could fix you." She replied, Charles stared at her for a moment, and swallowed.

"No, that's impossible." He replied almost too scared to try it, what if it didn't work? He couldn't bare getting his hopes up.

"Its worth a shot." She replied, Charles shook his head for a moment running over the possibility of this.

"Go home after I try to fix you or go home without it." She replied forcefully, she really wanted him out of her hair and out of her boyfriends head.

"Alright." Charles submitted and closed his eyes taking in strained breaths, he was nervous, he had just opened his mind to this woman whom was his enemy just took down any defenses he had left so she could try to fix him.

He could feel her penetrate his brain, feel her rummage around in his memories organizing cleaning up and deleting unnecessary hurts and pointless confusion, it was like she had run through his head with a broom and dust pan and swept up all the clouds and confusion, bringing to light what he held precious and what he held horrible, arranged his memories in the order they belonged, straightened bent thought patterns and brought focus back in the front of his mind.

When her presence retreated he let out the breath he had been holding, he blinked a few times as Emma stared back at him, just as hopeful, she really wanted to get rid of this nuisance

"Well?" she whispered. "How do you feel?" she asked and looked into his eyes to check if they were dilating.

"I, I don't know." He replied and glanced about the room, it was quiet too quiet he didn't hear anything he didn't want to, could only hear his heart pounding in his ears and his own thoughts, for a moment he thought she may had taken his telepathy all together, but soon realized he could focus again, could keep his thoughts inside his skull, he grinned maybe a little to happily before reaching into her mind to see if he still could.

_Nuisance, little red-lipped twerp, read my mind already and get the hell out of here. _

Charles only laughed at her thoughts, she had realized he was reading her mind and said that on purpose.

"You did it Emma, perhaps her have a bright future in this occupation." He replied smiling a little too much.

"Now that you feel bright as sun shine, would you be so kind as to politely leave me the fuck alone?" she replied Charles nodded enthusiastically.

Emma taking him by the elbow and drug him to the front desk where she signed his release papers, and gave him his bag of cloths, he smiled and left the building with one last shove of Emma out of the front doors, Charles looked at the world around him, his perspective had changed, bright and hopeful like it had been.

He felt like he could take on the whole world.

X

Erik had drunk himself sick again, this was his second time to throw up and it was only 10 in the morning, he never thought he would become an alcoholic, he wasn't an alcoholic he told himself as he washed his mouth out in the bathroom sink then stared at himself in the mirror as he gripped the porcelain in his hands for balance.

He was wretched looking, skin flushed and sweaty eyes bloodshot and a fairly out grown beard on his usually so clean shaven face.

Erik forced himself to stand straight and dry his face with a towel.

He found himself out on the lawn walking to the end of the driveway to get the mail from the mailbox, he glanced over the letters all addressed to Charles Xavier, Erik bit back a sound of sadness as his eyes stung with unshed tears, he wiped his eyes swiftly then leant against the brick box and shuttered not trying to stop the tears that fell.

Only when he heard the sound of a car engine behind him did he stand up straight to look at a taxi parking on the sidewalk, Erik's mouth dropped open and the letters in his fingers fell into the dirt on the ground.

Charles opened the back door of the cab and stood just staring at Erik for a few moments, Erik couldn't believe his eyes.

His breath deepened and he took careful steps towards the cab.

"Charles." He said quietly, Charles smiled before dropping all of his belongings in the dirt and running to land in his arms head to his chest.

Erik held him so tightly he thought perhaps he would break him but never let him go, Charles sobbed into his shirt, not tears of sorrow, not tears of fear, but tears of relief, tears of joy, he was home, he was whole, he was unbroken.

It wasn't until the cab driver honked the horn impatiently that they separated, Charles grinned up at him before turning to the cab driver and paying him and picking his stuff off the ground, Erik followed behind him and stood behind him quietly as the cab driver sped off, Erik set a hand on his elbow and turned him around to look at him.

Charles smiled up at him.

"I'm home." He said quietly, Erik took the bag from his hand and dropped it once again on the ground before both hands cupped Charles' face then their lips crashed together, Charles moaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around the metal benders waist.

Erik buried himself in the telepath, he could stay like this forever, his lips against him, mind softly caressed by Charles' the air was clear no cloud of confusion, no fussing voices, nothing demanding Charles' attention except Erik's lips.

Only parting to take a breath Erik stared down at him, Charles blushed and buried his face on Erik's shoulder

"If you ever run off like that again, I'll find and kill you." Erik lovingly threatened, Charles giggled into him.

"Erik, take me to our room, stay with me, just be with me, protect me." Charles begged tugging on Erik's shirt.

X

Charles was soaking in the large tub in the bathroom his head tilted back and a smile of satisfaction on his face, he was so happy to be home and to be whole, Erik had finished shaving then stood in the doorway staring down at the naked telepath only covered by bubbles, Charles hadn't noticed.

Erik smiled softly at him, all he wanted to do was get this delicate man in his bed and in his arms.

Charles' eyes fluttered open then he turned to look up at Erik's adoring gaze.

"I'm not going to run away, or go crazy if that's why your watching me." Charles teased, Erik smirked his eyes traveling over his body accidentally, he hadn't meant to stare like some kind of pervert, but he was scared if he closed his eyes he would disappear.

"I know you wont." He replied softly, Charles blushed but was satisfied with the reply.

"I'll make it quick." Charles replied and went to sit up standing in the tub completely naked Erik felt something twist in the pit of his stomach so violently it made him jolt to stand straighter, Charles reached for the towel hanging next to him when Erik reached and ripped it to place it out of reach.

Charles' breath caught in his chest as he looked over his shoulder at Erik whom was now standing mere inches away.

Erik's fingertips moved up to brush against the pale wet skin above Charles' bum, Erik leaning down to lay a kiss between his shoulder blades, Charles gasped head falling back, Erik swiftly pulled away and wrapped the towel around Charles waist then retreated to his bedroom cursing himself under his breath for what he had done.

Charles had been through enough, didn't need him poking around, prodding his too soft skin.

Erik was now digging for his sleep wear a little angrily while Charles dressed in the other room, Charles emerged in his pajamas, Erik looked at him, a face so apologetic it made Charles' heart bleed.

Erik shook his head at himself then pulled his cloths out of the drawer and turned to change in the bathroom when Charles stopped him silently with hands on his chest.

"Erik." He breathed, Erik stared down at him before closing his eyes and dropping his head.

"I am Charles Xavier, I am Erik's friend his best friend, I am Erik's." Charles whispered his brows furrowed saying these words trying to make sure Erik knew he remembered, remembered it all, he hadn't forgotten all Erik had done for him, hadn't forgotten his patience,

Erik cried, sobbed leaning down to rest on Charles' shoulder, Charles wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Erik, I loved you then, I love you now." He whispered into his auburn tresses.

Erik pulled him close. they just stood and held one another for the longest time, allowing the feelings they had spent so long hiding and trying to control seep into the other, allowing all the pint up fears and worries leak out to never return, Charles was healed, Charles was himself again, they could be together.

Now it was up to Charles, whatever Charles chose, Erik would accept, the time had come for this decision

X

Charles had curled under the covers of their bed waiting for Erik whom had finally gone to change cloths, Erik came back into the room only after a few minutes then climbed into bed next to Charles.

After a long drawn and heavy silence Erik finally found the words he had been looking for,

"I never stopped looking for you." Erik confessed staring at the ceiling too afraid to make eye contact.

"I know you didn't." Charles replied, "I thought about you everyday." Charles said and closed his eyes he never wanted to leave but he couldn't live with himself had he hurt one of them.

"I'm sorry I put you through all of this." Erik replied and closed his eyes locking in tears that threatened to fall, he was cornered by guilt, imprisoned.

Erik sighed heavy and turned his head to lock eyes with the telepath laying next to him, Charles stared back at him eyes traveling the metal benders sharp features, Erik's stormy gray eyes traveled down to look wantonly at his red full lips,

Charles waited a moment until he could not wait any longer then moved closer, silently climbing atop of him and looked him square in the eye.

Erik swallowed hard as he stared up at him.

Charles wordlessly bent down to kiss his forehead, Erik let out a sigh of relief, Charles wrapped his arms tightly around him and kissed his cheek and jaw and nose, then moved to kiss him on the mouth covering his mouth with his own.

The kiss somehow so innocent it burned, Erik raised his arms to wrap around his waist as Charles molested his mouth with his tongue, Erik opened his teeth to allow him in, Erik moaned into him, he had never felt so perfect, never felt so forgiven, never felt so adored.

Charles moved down to kiss his jaw then a line to his ear then neck, Erik gasped head tilting back as Charles sucked on his Adams apple, Erik's heart began to pound in his ears, Charles softly felt his stomach and chest through his shirt.

Charles finally pulled back just enough to pull it over Erik's head, which Erik leant up just enough to allow it, Charles immediately leaning down to cover a nipple with his warm wet mouth.

Erik groaned as his tongue pushed against his tan skin and teeth nipped at the hardening bud, Erik keened and arched his back into him.

Charles moving to treat the other in its likeness.

Erik felt that twisting in his stomach again, muscles constricting to respond to this intimacy he had too long been waiting for.

Charles grunted as he felt Erik growing harder against his stomach, Charles moved down to pull Erik's sweatpants down with delicate fingers, Erik's breathing was fast and short.

Charles tugged his pants off finding he wasn't wearing any under wear, Charles kissed his stomach above the patch of curly blonde hair before moving down to kiss where Erik's leg met his hips.

Erik groaned and arched his back legs spreading Charles running his lips down his leg before nudging his face in the soft hair next to Erik's member, Charles was as much a polite and caring love maker as Erik had ever expected, Charles breathed him in before flicking his tongue out and licking the head of his shaft with delicate precision.

Erik leaned up and grabbed Charles by the hair pulling him up to kiss him and land on his chest.

"Not like that." He pleaded in a whisper, Charles eyes sparkled down at him. "Its time for you to make a decision Charles, do you still want me?" Erik asked voice gruff and heavy laden, his eyes begging for a yes. Charles ran two fingers over his lips smiling a little too brightly.

"More than ever." He admitted, Erik's heart filled with warmth, as the ice thawed and it began to beat once again flesh and blood not metal and oil, gears and chains.

Charles bent down to kiss him Erik running his hands down his clothed back, then around to his chest palms pushing Charles away to remove his pajama shirt pulling it over his head too eager to fuss with the buttons.

Then leant up to suck on Charles collarbone, Charles threw his head back as Erik's lips did things only the devil could teach.

Charles moaned his hands moving to run over soft cooled by the air flesh.

Erik carefully turned them over to land on top, Charles legs parting to wrap around his waist,

Erik ground down into him with such passion and selflessness it hurt.

Charles gasped hands moving to Erik's face.

Pulling their lips together once again, Erik's hands moved to take Charles' pajamas off, Charles lifting his hips just enough for them to slip down his well rounded bum.

legs rising up in the air as the silk fabric brushed over his legs and off falling in a heap on the floor, Erik bringing Charles legs to rest on a shoulder laying kisses done the milky flesh, Charles couldn't help but smile at Erik's gentle attention.

Erik carefully separated his legs to land on either side of his neck kissing down the inside of one thigh as the other leg fell from his shoulder to bend by his side, Erik leaning down so Charles was split in half one leg pointed in the air, the other rising to wrap lazily around his waist members sliding together against one another.

Charles gasped and gripped Erik's arms, Erik grinding into him seeking for friction to ease this thrumming feeling pounding through his veins and down between his legs, Charles moaned eyes sliding shut.

Erik clasped Charles' pale soft flesh of his thigh between his teeth as he humped into him, Charles moaned and pushed his hips up, Erik's skin beginning to shine with a sheen of sweat, Charles red tongue sneaking out to lick his obscenely red swollen mouth, Erik growled against his flesh his tongue sneaking out to lave at the bite mark he had just made, Charles heaved in a breath.

"St-stop." He stuttered, Erik shivered with desire before he slowed down to stop, moving back heavy breaths on Charles nose and perky lips, Charles bit his bottom lip before adding. "In me, I want you in me." He breathed, Erik grunted silently moving his fingers to push into Charles' parted lips, Charles grunted before he sucked and laved them with his tongue, Erik deemed them ready and slid them down between his legs and went to seek out his entrance, eyes locked Erik half smiled when he found it.

Charles bit his bottom lip in preparation, Erik pushed a wet finger inside carefully.

Charles grunted but did not protest, Erik pushing in further, Charles' breath catching and his eyes slamming shut with a shiver, but he urged Erik on despite the sting, he had waited long enough, wanted Erik more than anything or anyone.

Charles wanted to seal their relationship after tonight they could never be just friends.

Once Erik had entered him and Charles' pain soon turned to pleasure it was all downhill from here, they had done it, Erik thrusting in him deeper each time but never with more force, now that they were connected Charles' leg was let loose from his shoulder to drape high around Erik's back under his arm granting Erik to be closer to him, chests sliding together.

Their lips continually interlocked only separating to rest on cheeks to take breaths, Erik had, had sex many times in his life, but he had never made love with Charles Xavier and he planned on making it last as long as possible, Charles didn't seem to mind.

The clock struck nearly an hour when Charles finally came after too many almost orgasms that had been slowed to last longer, only pushed to completion by Erik sliding inside him, Charles moaned into his orgasm but didn't without pulling Erik's lips into his, he wanted Erik to swallow all of his noises, feel this with him, he filled Erik's mind with his orgasm, that mixed with Charles tightening around him brought Erik to completion right after.

Charles relaxed his legs falling to rest around low on Erik's back.

Charles breathed on him mouth agape with hot heavy breaths, Erik's eyes closed contentedly.

"I love you, Erik." Charles whispered into the ear that hovered over his lips, Erik smiled into him.

"I love you." He replied and kissed the telepath from hairline to chin, and back up, Charles accepted each loving caress hoping they would never end, wishing they would never end.

Charles knew he loved him, since the day he woke up wrapped in his arms, but hearing him say it meant everything.

Erik went to pull away, Charles pulling him back.

"Stay, inside me, on me, just stay." Charles begged.

He had finally gotten what he wanted for so long, Erik, his patience had paid off, he didn't have to hide it anymore, didn't have to feel guilty for his thoughts or feelings, Erik was his now, and he was Erik's.

In truth there was nowhere else Erik would rather be until the end of his days.

He stayed there as requested and stayed in their bed every night from here on.

He hadn't spent 6 months trying to save this man to leave him now, he always loved him, always would. Till end of time.

XXX

Again please review I would really like to know if yall liked this part as much as I did. Thanks again for all your feed back! Love you guys your awesome!


	8. Chapter 8

Erik woke slowly his weary eyes opening to small slits as the bright sun beamed inside through the translucent curtains.  
>Charles was curled up against him, nose on his chest, so hot he felt like a furnace, Charles warm breath tickled Erik's skin on his chest where sweat had dried.<br>Erik drug his fingers through the brunettes curly locks for a moment his thumb resting on his left temple.  
>In a way he wished Charles was still broken, he had needed him that way, Charles could never be left alone, Erik missed the desperate caress of his telepathy which always reached for reality, Erik there to be his anchor to the truth.<br>Erik let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.  
>Charles stirred quietly his fingertips that rest on Erik's lower stomach rubbed slow circles on the hard muscle, Charles' caresses and embrace were always like this gentle and sweet, soft.<br>He touched Erik like he was made of glass.  
>This was something Erik would never understand, he was hard as metal and cold as iron, but Charles never saw him like that, he was something precious and Cherish able, a priceless treasure in Charles eyes.<p>

"A penny for your thoughts; love." Charles muttered tiredly.  
>Erik smiled sideways at him brushing through his hair once again with his long slender fingers.<br>"My thoughts are free Charles." Was his smooth reply, Charles smiled contently eyes still closed, Erik felt that gentle pressure at the front of his forehead, the prickling in his skin that made him aware Charles was reading his mind like an open book.  
>"You aren't cold, you are a treasure, Erik." He whispered against him laying a kiss against his calmly beating heart.<br>Erik wrapped his arms around him and pulled Charles against him, holding him tighter than was necessary but Charles didn't seem to mind.  
>"Only in your own head." Erik replied nudging his face in Charles soft curls, though he was arguing his value with the man he loved so dearly, the calmly spoken words made his heart flutter.<br>"That's all that matters isn't it?" He asked pushing his knee between Erik's legs to be closer to him.  
>"Whatever floats your boat, Charles." He muttered into his hair.<p>

"Erik, I know what you did." Charles confessed in a whisper his hand stopping in its place, Erik furrowed his brows.

"Charles, I had never meant to hurt you." He whispered into his hair pain stinging his eyes with unshed tears, Charles wrapped his arm around Erik and held on tight.

"Not that Erik, I know you saved my life, you gave up everything to protect me." He answered against him kissing his chest again, many kisses more followed the first.

"I don't know what your talking about." He replied, it had been a long time ago, all Erik could remember was how he had broken Charles, the only person that meant anything to him anymore.

Charles pulled away slowly just enough to gaze into Erik's gray eyes.

"You didn't kill those men, they threatened to kill us, but you knew if you retaliated the government would never help get me home." He replied, brushing a hand across Erik's cheek his thumb rubbing against his lips.

"I did what I had too." He replied, Charles shook his head.

"No, you gave up everything because I was hurt, you came back, you even convinced the CIA to help us." He replied, Erik dropped his head back on the pillow closing his eyes, Charles leant up to kiss his now exposed neck.

"I couldn't just leave you like that." He grumbled, Charles kissed him, hand roaming to Erik's chest as he pressured him onto his back, Erik submitted without a second thought as Charles carefully straddled his waist.

"Even then, you loved me." Charles whispered lips barely brushing Erik's as his warm breath washed over his face.

"Think mighty high of yourself, do you?" Erik replied flirtatiously, Charles smiled down at him and laughed.

"But you don't deny it, do you?" he asked, Erik flushed and shook his head.

"I did love you then, Charles, I guess I just didn't know how much." He admitted then bit his bottom lip averting his gaze, Charles leant down to cover his mouth with a kiss, Erik returned it eagerly brushing his fingers through his hair pulling him closer, Charles hotly pressing his tongue against his teeth, Erik allowed him entrance simultaneously shoving his own tongue down Charles throat, Charles moaned into him Erik leaning up on his elbows to be closer to him.

Charles hands hungrily roamed the naked body beneath him, Erik grabbing Charles by the arm tugging him down and flipping him over onto his back.

Erik's hair falling forward wildly, leaning down to capture Charles' Adams apple in his mouth, Charles moaned head falling back to allow him more access.

Erik couldn't stop his fingers from reaching between his legs and searching out his entrance, Erik found it and rubbed at it carefully, Charles hissed and shivered under him in surprise and what it seemed like, pain.

Erik pulled back just enough to talk.

"Something wrong?" he asked huskily, Charles shook his head but didn't say anything.

"Charles…" Erik drawled, Charles exhaled and opened his eyes to meet gazes with the metal bender.

"just umm…" Charles hesitated and shook his head again. "Nothing, I'm fine." He replied, Erik quirked a brow and pulled back the covers of the bed falling back to reveal a naked Charles beneath him, Charles leaning up on his elbows.

Erik's eyes traveled the pale body below him, and stopped between his legs.

"Charles, your bleeding." Erik gasped pulling back further, Charles sat up and captured him by his forearms.

"Its okay, it really doesn't hurt much." He tried to comfort desperately, afraid Erik would pull away completely knowing he had hurt him, even if it was normal in their situation.

"No Charles, it isn't okay, I didn't know, I would never.." Erik tried to defend and shook his head at himself. "I'm sorry." He replied, Charles tightened his grip on his arms as he tried to pull away holding him firmly.

"Erik, I wanted this as much as you did. Don't blame yourself, it happens." He replied and pulled him into a hug, a hug so tight it was suffocating.

"Don't leave, don't run away." Charles added desperately nudging his face in the bend of his neck. "I need you, I've missed you so much." He added, Erik hesitantly wrapped his arms around him and held him close.

"I'm not going anywhere." He promised with a kiss to his temple, Charles shuttered against him in the reassurance he needed.

Charles would give anything to keep Erik for himself until the end of eternity, Erik always acted like he didn't care for anyone or anything, if only everyone knew he acted so coldly because he was exactly the opposite. Erik's biggest weakness is he cares too much.

Cares too much for mutants, cares too much for his family, and cares too much for Charles.

This was something Charles knew, this is what made him fall in love with the man in the first place, Erik always tried to keep his distance, afraid he would be betrayed or lose those he loved most, now all of his love was for Charles.

Charles pulled away to kiss him deeply, before pulling back.

"I love you Erik, always will, no matter what." He promised, Erik brushed his fingers against his pale cheek.

"I love you Charles, so much it scares me." He admitted, Charles nodded and couldn't stop the grin that marked his features.

"I know, Erik, I know." He replied and kissed him again for good measure.

X

Hi everyone, sorry the update took so long.

This is as far as I've gotten now but I wanted to post the little bit I had so you could all see it.

I hope you all still like this story, I'm afraid I've gotten a little off track with this cause I've been away, but hopefully it still makes sense.

Please review

Love yall!


	9. Chapter 9

Charles held Erik close until he was half mindedly twisting the hair on the back of his neck with his fingers, just enjoying the warmth of his body.

Erik hadn't said anything for a while as they just sit holding each other close, never wanting to let the other go.

Erik pulled back barely just enough to look at Charles' face tilting his chin up to look into those deep adoring eyes.

Erik brushed his calloused fingertips behind Charles' ear gently tucking some stray strands of brown curls away.

Charles smiled up at him his long lashes fluttering as a blush flushed his cheeks, Erik smiled in return before leaning down to kiss the corner of his mouth softly then cup his soft cheeks in the palms of his hands.

Charles smiled wider and rested his hands on Erik's hips, Erik smiled softly at him before kissing the tip of his nose, Charles giggled deliciously.

Erik then kissed him softly on his rose colored lips, pulling back once again to sit up then pull away to stand from the bed, Charles watched him from his seated spot, his eyes traveling Erik's naked body, chiseled muscles and tanned smooth flesh, though blemished with some scars which Charles thought made him look even more beautiful.

Erik leant down to kiss him teasingly then pull back tugging Charles out of bed by the hand his fingers intertwining with the telepaths, Charles followed without question as Erik wordlessly pulled him to the bathroom, Charles giggled when he saw the water was already filling the tub, Erik had turned it on from the other room.

Erik tugged him close one more time holding his hands on either side kissing him tenderly, his fingers playing games in the others palms.

Erik's body brushed against Charles' just enough to give him goose bumps, Erik smirked as he pulled away tugging the naked Charles into the bath tub with him.

He found it endearing how Charles never questioned him, just trusted him fully, he had 6 months to earn that trust, and even that fateful night when he had lost his temper and hurt Charles, Charles still trusted him, with his life, with his love, with his body.

Erik lowered into the tub Charles following after, sitting in front of him.

Erik leant forward to kiss him in the tub, the faucet turning itself off, Erik continued to kiss him tenderly time after time.

mmm. Charles hummed against him as his kisses became just barely more firm, not more demanding or forceful, just desperate and loving.

Erik pushed closer forcing Charles back until he lay in the tub the hot water up to his chest Erik's chest sliding against his, Charles brushed his fingers through his hair then down his chest, Erik grunted against him as he lay atop of him, teasing Charles' lips with his tongue until the telepath opened his mouth to allow him in.

Charles moved a hand to tug on the ginger locks on the back of Erik's head.

Erik continued to kiss him deeply lunging his tongue further each time, Charles sunk back as Erik moved closer bodies sliding together, Charles pulled on his hair somewhat breaking the kiss to breath.

Erik smiled down at him as Charles let out a breathy laugh.

"We'll always be together." Erik whispered, Charles nodded bringing his forehead to touch with Erik's.

"As long as you'll have me." Charles promised.

"I'll have you as long as you love me." Erik replied.

I will always love you

Erik squeezed his eyes shut and pulled Charles close, Charles nudging his face in the bend of Erik's neck.

Till end of time

Erik pulled back to kiss him once more then pulled away, grabbing a wash rag and the bar of soap and began to wash Charles.

Charles smiled wide at him and laughed delicately a sound so beautiful Erik felt he could live by its sound alone.

"You don't have to do this anymore, you know." Charles said and blushed.

"I want to." He admitted leaning forward to kiss him again.

Both men surprised by a loud knocking on the connected bedroom door.

Erik pulled back as they both looked in its direction.

"Erik, we know Charles is back, stop hogging him all for yourself." Raven declared inside the room, voice dripping with sarcasm laced with a joy and relief that was felt bubbling from everyone throughout the house.

Charles was home, he was well and once again the man that had made them all who they were today.

Charles laughed as Erik scowled, he hadn't had nearly enough of his Charles.

"Wait your turn, Mystique." Erik replied playfully, Charles laughed and leant forward to kiss Erik harder than he had been before, pulling back with a smack.

"Yeah, Raven, wait your turn." Charles replied jokingly before his mouth was covered by Erik's, they heard a playfully annoyed huff from the other side of the door then light footsteps leaving swiftly.

Charles was suddenly feeling much better and ready for some not so child friendly activities, Erik couldn't but agree.

-Fin

X

I hope this didn't end too abruptly but there really wasn't many places this could go from here, I liked the end, they are finally together, their happy, and Erik isn't going anywhere

I hate sad endings to angst stories so I always end them good.

Let me know what you think, by the way I've already started another story called 'Snowed Inn' its an unabashed fluff fic, oh man me and my mood swings… but if you liked chapter 3 of this story you'll probably like 'Snowed Inn' I hope to see some reviews from you all.

Its been a fun ride and thanks so much for all of your support! I hope you continue to read my stories ^_^

Special thanks to.

CherryBlossom1991, MirrorFlower and DarkWind, ishala8, Little Draca. For all of your support! I love hearing from you and hope you keep coming back!

With Love,

DeathTrapDaisy.


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